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Dr. Betty,

I am a 43 year old woman, and have been married to the same man for 21 years (ok...so maybe that is my problem - not enough variety). My problem is I have never been able to experience an orgasm with a partner. I had several other partners before my husband, and it just doesn't happen for me. I was sexually abused by my grandfather when I was a child, and I don't know if that has something to do with it.

Dear Dr. Betty

What is the difference between orgasm and ejaculation in women? And in men too, for that matter?

Dear R,

Good question: When a man ejaculates too quickly (as in premature ejaculation), the sensation is not all that satisfying. It's a reflex that has no build-up behind it. An orgasm that follows a period of time of building up pleasurable sensations will be far more satisfying. Not that coming fast doesn't relieve some tension, but the quality of the pleasure experienced is minimal.

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a 27 year old women that's been in a monogamous relationship for 10 years. I have 2 children and I have my tubes tied. For the past 5 years now I have had sexual urges that I can't explain. I have always enjoyed sex, for a women in today's society a little more then most. I have noticed 3 days before my Diva Week starts and about 1 week after I am as Horny as a 16 year old boy.

I'm 17 and I've been masturbating since a very young age. When I first started I would cross my legs tightly, and sort of rock back and forth. Sometimes I could have an orgasm in less than two minutes. The problem is, my boyfriend and I are getting serious, but I feel like sex won't be pleasurable for me, considering that my legs must be uncrossed in order to have sex.

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have fulfilled many of my sexual curiosities and/or fantasies. The one thing I can't seem to get over is how you got past the fact that people you knew would judge your career choice about sex and that they would see you naked. I have lost many friends by various sexual things I've done...like being naked in front of my mom, showing a picture of my penis, letting a friend give me a blowjob and then telling his wife I seduced him (lie), telling people I tied bottles to my foreskin and showed them, etc.

Dear S,

Hey Doc,

For a woman, when is it considered "loosing your virginity"? Is it, for lack of better words, when someone goes down on you, is it fingering or does it have to be actual penetration? Can you even draw a line with all the factors that come into play?

Thanks

Dearest Betty,

First of all thank you (and Carlin) for making it your business to educate the rest of us! I find your website a resourceful, inspirational, intelligent place to come back to over and over again. I have learned soooo much from it!

Dr. Betty,

I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months now and most of the time things are going great... except in the bedroom. I have a very healthy sexual appetite and I enjoy everything that sex has to offer but my boyfriend does not seem to see sex in the same way. Just for a background my boyfriend is young (19) and I am the older woman (25). So I have a lot more experience and I know exactly what makes me excited and I can tell he needs some teaching.

Dear Dr. Betty,

Lately I experience cramps when I reach orgasm which pretty much takes the fun out of my orgasms. The cramps do not appear every time I masturbate but they are really distracting and the satisfaction does not set in as the sensation is not the same. The cramps feel like the ones I have while menstruating (which isn't much fun either) although I am not.

I wonder if you ever heard of any similar cases and have some advice for me.

Thank you so much for everything.

M

Dear M,