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She was so soft spoken on the phone that I had to ask her to speak up several times. Badu told me she was an African woman from Kenya who had been circumcised. Two years ago, she began looking for information to understand what had been done to her as a ten year-old child. She came across my name online and made the call.

Dear Betty,

I appreciate so much your book "Sex for One". It's amazing how these old self-defeating messages rob us of our dearest self-love. I believe orgasm rejuvenates our whole system as taught by Yoginis for centuries. My first orgasm (never to be repeated) was a Whopper through oral sex from a "guru" type.

Dear Betty,

Dear Betty,

Hi Betty,

I'm a 21 year old who has never had sex. It's not that I haven't tried. But my vagina is so tight that my boyfriend can't penetrate me. I first tried having sex when I was 17 with my boyfriend at that time. We were both inexperienced and after trying various positions, we finally gave up because I was starting to get sore.

Dear Miss Betty:

March 1st is the anniversary of my first orgasm and I felt it time to thank you for your role in that. After stumbling upon your website two years ago in dire sexual frustration over my "inability" to orgasm, I was inspired by the empowering nature of the material you and Grant have included and proceeded to lay down to enjoy my own sexual responses. Before I knew it - fireworks! I wept and released years' worth of inadequacy.

The first time I saw The Vagina Monologues was in 1996 when it was off, off, off Broadway. Friends of mine who'd seen the play had alerted me that the author and sole performer, Eve Ensler, mentioned my workshops. That evening I sat in a small theater listening to a charming young woman who talked about my Women's Sexuality Workshops with a distorted view of what I'd been doing for over twenty-five years. She called it "The Vagina Workshop." Never in my wildest nightmare would I have ever considered using the word vagina to describe the work I'd been doing.

Dear Betty,

I love to look at porn. My wife likes to look at times too but feels guilty. We feel like it is a sin, but enjoy it so much. Do you think porn can ruin a marriage? If I look at porn I feel so guilty. I just love my wife and family so much. Sometimes when my wife finds out I look at porn she is so hurt. Why do men struggle with porn so much. I wish I could just not look at it. Do a lot of men struggle with this? -- J

Dear J,

Hi Betty,

I recently read your book Sex for One, borrowed from a friend who was making a documentary about female masturbation. In any case, I am a 21 year-old student who just started exploring my body very recently (on my own that is) and I have come across many interesting things.

For one, it seems that I am an ejaculator. At first, like every other woman, I figured I had peed on myself. But I smelled and checked and made sure it wasn't pee. So the only logical conclusion was ejaculation (and a rather large amount of it too).

Hi there Dr. Betty,

I'm in my mid 20's & for various reasons I'm still a virgin. This may sound like a stupid question but would a guy be able to tell I was a virgin when I have sex for the first time? Would it be obvious or am I better off telling him - being a virgin in your mid 20's makes you seem a bit like an anti social freak.

Thanks, D

Dear D,