Can't Upgrade My Tension Orgasms

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Betty Dodson

I'm 17 and I've been masturbating since a very young age. When I first started I would cross my legs tightly, and sort of rock back and forth. Sometimes I could have an orgasm in less than two minutes. The problem is, my boyfriend and I are getting serious, but I feel like sex won't be pleasurable for me, considering that my legs must be uncrossed in order to have sex.

I've tried to orgasm my rubbing my clit and doing the "rock and roll" method you mentioned in some of your podcasts, but every time I try I will end up doing it for usually a little over an hour before I give up. I have never had an orgasm with my legs uncrossed, and I fear that even if I can somehow find a way to have one, it will take me hours to achieve. What should I do?

Dear T,

I hear this a lot. You need to spend time practicing new masturbation techniques. It doesn't happen over night or within an hour. Go to "First Time Orgasm" and read it more than once. Then follow my simple step by step suggestions. When you are learning a new dance step or orgasm technique, you must be patient. You can always end with old faithful by crossing your legs to get off. For now, get to know your clitoris and how best to stimulate her. You have been using muscle tension only which is indirect clit stim. Time to upgrade your childhood masturbation skills.

Dr. Betty