Articles

When I attended a birthday party to celebrate Dell Williams' 90th Birthday, I'd been asked to MC the affair that turned out quite a number of aging feminists as well as a few young ones. My birthday gift to Dell was a copy of the 1974 edition of my first self-published book, Liberating Masturbation: a Meditation on Self-love. Attached to the cover with a paper clip was a crisp new 100 dollar bill. Dell stared at the cover a few moments as her brain struggled to recall until she read my greeting:

Dear doctor Betty,

As you can see, the reason I'm sending this message is because I'm afraid of having sex and I would really appreciate a wise advise right now.

Dear Dr. Betty,

First of all, sorry if my English is bad, my native language is Spanish. Ok, on with it.

Below is a recent question I received from a young woman.  I'm noticing that more and more women want to know "how can I stop ejaculating?"  So I asked some of my friends - the experts - to weigh in:

Dear Betty,

I love your site, it has helped me a lot, thank you and Carlin for the wonderful work you do.

I have a four year old girl, since she was three she loves to touch her vulva, she opens her legs and touch her all the time, everywhere, I want to be a sex positive mother so I let her do it, but I always try to make her understand that she has to do it in her room not in front other people, but she touches herself in the subway, in our living room, where she wants, I don't know what to do, if you could help me with your wisdom I will be very grateful to you.

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a 20 year old engineering student. For the last two years I have been unable to orgasm when having sex or mutually masturbating with my lover. I can only orgasm alone. This has taken a negative toll on my lover's self-esteem. Lately I have wanted sex less despite having just acquired our own space to play, and he told me that he is now feeling unloved. I think I am turning myself off, before and during sex, with my body image and an unhealthy sexual/romantic upbringing. I just do not know where to start tackling these issues.

Hi there!

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a Muslim girl and I shouldn't be wondering this but I can't help it. In my country, when a girl is born they perform clitoridectomy where the clit is partially removed. I asked my mother why they do that and she said it's so that the girl won't orgasm easily so they won't turn into "bad" girls. I'm really upset by this because I thought after I get married I would get to experience the kind of feelings the characters from those erotic books feel (another thing I shouldn't be doing is reading erotica).

Hi Betty,

I'm so happy to have found your site (I no longer feel alone!) and am definitely going to give your tips a try regarding my anorgasmia. I was wondering though if you or anyone you know of, run a class in the UK like the group body workshops you have videos of. Also I notice that the video prices are in $, can I still buy these in the UK?

If not a class, could you recommend a therapist in the UK, as I feel like it might be nice to have the support.

Hello!

First of all: this is a wonderful page and I already read and found a lot of really helpful things.