I'm Afraid to Have Sex & Get Pregnant

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Betty Dodson

Dear doctor Betty,

As you can see, the reason I'm sending this message is because I'm afraid of having sex and I would really appreciate a wise advise right now.

I'm 18 years old and I've been always very curious and open about my sexuality, but recently I found out one of my best friends is pregnant and she's just one year older than me. I know for sure that happened to her because she was very irresponsible and wasn't on any birth control method, in fact the guy came inside her.. but I still am really afraid even thought I am very cautious and careful when it comes to that.

I haven't had sex but I've masturbated A LOT since it can remember, therefore I really really want to have sex, because it's not the pain I'm afraid of, but the idea of getting pregnant at a young age.

Sorry if I made any grammar or vocabulary mistakes, but my mother language is Spanish.  Thank you very much. I'll be waitin your response.

Dear M,

We need to understand that masturbation is having sex. It's the most consistent satisfaction we will have in our lifetimes. Sex with another person, while it can be very exciting, includes so many other elements. Partner sex often ends up not all that satisfying, especially when it comes to a woman's orgasm.

Most of our sexual activity today is based on the male model of a penis thrusting inside a vagina. This is the procreative model of sex that works for men but rarely results in orgasm for women. And to top it off, women are mostly responsible for managing birth control. While a guy can wear a condom, he can afford to be more casual about it because he doesn't end up with an unwanted child. So don't be in such a hurry to have the kind of sex that's likely to leave you without any satisfaction with an orgasm.

Before you "go all the way" just make sure you have your birth control mastered. Soon an over the counter diaphragm will be available with one size fits all. You didn't mention the kind of birth control you are currently using. That must come fist before "going all the way" with a boy. Be Safe!

Dr. Betty