Dear Dr. Betty,
Dear Betty,
I am a twenty-two year old virgin with severe rheumatoid arthritis. I've had a boyfriend now for a year, and though we have engaged in quite a lot of sexual activity, he is afraid that having sex with me will hurt me even more. I have extremely limited mobility in my left hip and right knee, and only so much stamina, but I love him and I want to try it. Even if it affects me poorly afterwards I'm still willing. Do you have any suggestions about what position might be the least likely to cause problems, and perhaps put my boyfriend at ease about hurting me?
There is little doubt that feminism lost ground with the last two generations of young women. I believe one reason for this has been mainstream feminists focus on rape, incest, and violence against women and girls. It's time to rescue sex from violence. We need to acknowledge sexuality as the life force that allows us to procreate and fuels our creative impulses through repeated experiences with pleasure.
Hello Betty,
I am 57, and in the past 2 years was diagnosed with (not severe) rear pelvic wall collapse, and the beginnings of a prolapsed uterus. This discovery was made when I began to have pain during intercourse and problems with constant urinary pressure. At present I am using a vaginal estrogen cream, which has helped significantly with the pressure on my urethra, but I still have pain during intercourse. But my real concern is with my orgasms.
Hello,
I am super embarrassed to even ask this, but ok I am 20 years old and I lost my virginity when I was 16, and I have had 7 partners and still none of them have been able to give me an orgasm, I have had plenty orgasms through the clitoris through masturbation, but never have I been able to reach one during intercourse through my g spot. I think I am just scared and do not let it happen, but I am sooo sexually frustrated.
Dear Dr. Betty,
A Private Session with a Victim of Female Genital Mutilation
How can I Just Lose Myself in Pleasure?
Can You Have Too Much Sex?
Can't Orgasm Since Menopause
My Pussy Is Too Tight!
Hi Betty,
I'm a 21 year old who has never had sex. It's not that I haven't tried. But my vagina is so tight that my boyfriend can't penetrate me. I first tried having sex when I was 17 with my boyfriend at that time. We were both inexperienced and after trying various positions, we finally gave up because I was starting to get sore.
Why are Sex Work and Feminism Mutually Exclusive?
Dear Miss Betty:
March 1st is the anniversary of my first orgasm and I felt it time to thank you for your role in that. After stumbling upon your website two years ago in dire sexual frustration over my "inability" to orgasm, I was inspired by the empowering nature of the material you and Grant have included and proceeded to lay down to enjoy my own sexual responses. Before I knew it - fireworks! I wept and released years' worth of inadequacy.
Betty's Response to the Vagina Monologues
The first time I saw The Vagina Monologues was in 1996 when it was off, off, off Broadway. Friends of mine who'd seen the play had alerted me that the author and sole performer, Eve Ensler, mentioned my workshops. That evening I sat in a small theater listening to a charming young woman who talked about my Women's Sexuality Workshops with a distorted view of what I'd been doing for over twenty-five years. She called it "The Vagina Workshop." Never in my wildest nightmare would I have ever considered using the word vagina to describe the work I'd been doing.
My Wife Feels Guilty Looking at Porn
Dear Betty,
I love to look at porn. My wife likes to look at times too but feels guilty. We feel like it is a sin, but enjoy it so much. Do you think porn can ruin a marriage? If I look at porn I feel so guilty. I just love my wife and family so much. Sometimes when my wife finds out I look at porn she is so hurt. Why do men struggle with porn so much. I wish I could just not look at it. Do a lot of men struggle with this? -- J
Dear J,
Female Ejaculation Letters
Hi Betty,
I recently read your book Sex for One, borrowed from a friend who was making a documentary about female masturbation. In any case, I am a 21 year-old student who just started exploring my body very recently (on my own that is) and I have come across many interesting things.
For one, it seems that I am an ejaculator. At first, like every other woman, I figured I had peed on myself. But I smelled and checked and made sure it wasn't pee. So the only logical conclusion was ejaculation (and a rather large amount of it too).
Can a Guy Tell You're a Virgin?
Hi there Dr. Betty,
I'm in my mid 20's & for various reasons I'm still a virgin. This may sound like a stupid question but would a guy be able to tell I was a virgin when I have sex for the first time? Would it be obvious or am I better off telling him - being a virgin in your mid 20's makes you seem a bit like an anti social freak.
Thanks, D
Dear D,