I can’t write a number large enough to cover the amount of emails I get from young, middle-aged, and older woman asking me how to have an orgasm. The constant refrain is that they have tried EVERYTHING and they still can’t come!

Hi Betty or Carlin or just anyone who could help,

I'm suffering!!!

I wrote you before when I first got diagnosed with my vaginal prolapse. and I just wanted to say thank you for the help, but im still so alone and lost. and that wasnt even part of my stupid problems it was just a bump on my horribly paved road. more and more problems keep stacking up and Im in pain and suffering to the point where I dont want to even know what to do. I just feel destroyed and broken. I could really just use some kind of help.

Dear Betty,

first of all, thank you for doing this noble work of yours.

I have been in a loving, monogamous relationship with my man for about five years.  Before him, I had six partners and not really fulfilling romantic or sexual life. My first partner was satisfying me, but I cannot even remember the details since it was very long time ago and I mostly remember being very unhappy about him not wanting to be anything else but my fuck-friend.

Hi Dr. Betty,

I feel a bit abnormal for admitting this, but I have never liked being touched. Massages, pedicures, etc. are fine, but I don’t like hugs or kisses, even from my husband. When he touches me I stiffen up and feel very uncomfortable. In order to have sex I have to have at least a glass of wine to relax enough just to stand it.

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am 22 years old and I'm not sure I've ever had an orgasm.

I'm originally from Eastern Europe, and had a religious upbringing. I remember being a preteen and asking my mother what sex was like, and she replied "not fun". I always felt guilty about having sexual thoughts, and didn't even allow myself to masturbate until I was 17. As of now I'm in a good relationship with a guy who makes me feel comfortable and I'm finally starting to enjoy sex. I've even found that anal play is a lot of fun!

Dear Dr. Betty

I'm hoping someone can give me advice about this.

Over the years, one frequently asked question comes from women and a few men who are unable to incorporate their current method of masturbation into partnersex.

One of the first emails is from a gal writing for a woman’s magazine: They are doing a piece on how women can have the best orgasms/sex life possible from “experts.” I get right to it. The last question is: “What is your own go-to trick when it comes to reaching an orgasm in your own sex/masturbation life?”

Well, I answer, it not a “trick” it’s actually a skill.

Hey Dr. Betty!

I have an uncooperative vagina. My clitoris and I get along really really well but my vagina and I? Not so much. For much of my teens I had vaginismus that prevented me from wanting any sort of penetration during masturbation sessions. There was no partner-sex. Now that I'm in my early twenties I have wanted to expand my routine a little and include penetration. So far most of my issues with vaginismus have disappeared, but I now have next to no sensation in my vagina.

Hi Betty.

I am a bit worried about my clitoris. Recently when aroused my clitoris swells to be huge. Similar in size to a my thumb, to the point I can feel it very obviously when I walk and very visible from the outer lips. I have never noticed this before and has only been happening the last 2-3 months. Is this something I should get checked out or is it normal? If I should get it checked out who should I go to for this type of problem?

Thanks for any help you can give!

Dear S,