Dear Dr. Betty,

Help. I think I've trained my pelvic muscles to push out instead of in - I can expel one of your barbells easily when I cum but I cannot easily 'stop mid-pee', and now I am peeing when I cough...

I really need a suggestion re: weights or a toy/tool that will help me IDENTIFY and retrain my muscles correctly (I do squirt when I cum, don't know if that is related) there are so many weights and kegel exercisers online, I'm hoping you've got an expert opinion on this.

Thank you so much in advance

N

Dear N,

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am 20 years old and I have been doing the whole crossing my legs method of masturbation for a few years now. Like many others I discovered this method completely by accident as a child without even really understanding what I was doing. Climbing the rope in gym or perhaps my history of riding horses made me realize "hey that feels pretty good!"

Hello Dr Betty

Have a question for you - not sure how this works on your site.

I have been dating a wonderful lady for the past seven months - she is 49, I am 35. The relationship is fabulous, in all departments. Best sex of my life, she feels the same.

Sexually speaking, we are having a great time. She likes clitoral stimulation has powerful orgasms, however absolutely loves internal stimulation with my penis and fingers - especially deep penetration.

I fully understand that teaching is repetition. So again I repeat: the clitoral body is the primary source of orgasm whether it's stimulated externally, internally, or both at the same time. I prefer both. Once a woman understands she can have both clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration, it ends this discussion.

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a Muslim girl and I shouldn't be wondering this but I can't help it. In my country, when a girl is born they perform clitoridectomy where the clit is partially removed. I asked my mother why they do that and she said it's so that the girl won't orgasm easily so they won't turn into "bad" girls. I'm really upset by this because I thought after I get married I would get to experience the kind of feelings the characters from those erotic books feel (another thing I shouldn't be doing is reading erotica).

Below is a recent question I received from a young woman.  I'm noticing that more and more women want to know "how can I stop ejaculating?"  So I asked some of my friends - the experts - to weigh in:

Hi Dr. Betty!

I'm a 22 year old girl virgin and I have been reading your blog for quite a while. I didn't start masturbating till I was 17. At first I tried with a vibrator but it hurts so I am now sticking to my hands. I have a seizure disorder and I am on medication for that, but I am afraid about having an orgasm because I was told that there is a possibility that I might have a seizure while having one!

Hey!

I am a healthy 22-year-old female, and sadly, I have not had sex in over a year now. I can reach orgasm on my own by clitoral stimulation, but orgasm only once because my clit is too sensitive, although there were a few rare times that I was able to orgasm twice. So my question to you is this... am I too young to use a sex toy?

And if not which will you recommend me to try? I was thinking about a dildo, but the problem is that I still live with my parents and I do not think I'll be able to hide it well. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Dear M,

Dear Dr. B,

I hear all the time about the multi-orgasmic capability of women. For me, after I come, I feel DONE. I'd love to be multiorgasmic, but the feeling of wanting to get off go away after I orgasm. I have pressure/tension orgasms (still trying to master tension/relaxation ones - my mom bought me a magic wand so I hope that helps!).

I have tried to continue to stimulate myself after an orgasm, but it just doesn't feel good anymore. Will I ever be able to have multiple orgasms?

Dear B,

Over the years, one frequently asked question comes from women and a few men who are unable to incorporate their current method of masturbation into partnersex.