I Want to Experience Orgasm Without Doing All the Work

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Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am 20 years old and I have been doing the whole crossing my legs method of masturbation for a few years now. Like many others I discovered this method completely by accident as a child without even really understanding what I was doing. Climbing the rope in gym or perhaps my history of riding horses made me realize "hey that feels pretty good!"

I have had a few boyfriends and not until this past year have I been able to orgasm any other way besides crossing my legs. Now I can get the same feeling (with A LOT more work) when I am having sex with my boyfriend and on top of him rubbing my clioris against his body very quickly. I've never used any other methods of stimulation such as vibrators, but my boyfriend and I have talked about trying it before.

Sex with him feels really great, but I'm just tired of not being able to orgasm any other way and I think he is too. I want to be able to experience an orgasm that I didn't have to do all of the work for, you know?


Dear A,

Yes, most of us want the "Sleeping Beauty" orgasm where the Prince kisses us and we awakens into full blown orgasmic womanhood. That's our Romantic Sex conditioning thanks to all those fairy tales that Disney resurrected with Dolby sound and Technicolor. (Read The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm on our website).

After forty some years of teaching girls and women about orgasms, my constant refrain is "Clitoral stimulation during vaginal penetration" At The Same Time! Many of us discover that getting on top and either pressing our clitorises into his body or reaching down and stimulating the clitoris with our fingers gives us divine orgasms. Or if he's trainable, he can do your clitoral stimulation while you focus on enjoying the ride to orgasm.

So stop complaining about having to make an effort to enjoy orgasms with your BF and count your blessings. You can explore vibrators later on in your thirties. For now, you get an A+ in heterosexuality by having orgasms during partner sex. Congratulation!

Dr. Betty