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Dear Dr. Betty,

Single, age 68 (very young), not in a relationship, but interested, hysterectomy at age 44, on estrogen replacement for over 20 years till last year, testosterone cream (a little) for 2-3 years till last year, surprise invasive breast cancer last year, lumpectomy Nov., as of April on Arimidex aromatase inhibitor, supposedly for next 5 yrs., I am trying to work the mind over matter, around the deprivation of all my "fountain of youth" hormones and am starting to despair over lack of physical both skin/touch and vaginal feeling and capability to respond to fantasy and masturbation (I try to keep up the good work and not let go of hope).

On occasion erotic correspondence I have with a man off an on gives me a shot of adrenalin that I try to react to quickly by masturbation, but it's very hard work and then I go dead again. Of course lubrication with a gel helps, but.. that's all. Any creative ideas toward how to survive as a sexual woman over the next 5 years while making sure of non-reoccurance of the breast cancer. Thank you. D.

Dear DR,

You have my compassion facing what many women do in our so-called "Golden Years." Now isn't that a load of crap? It's an ongoing battle that we all fight and I call the medical and pharmaceutical industries to task. Read my essay on HRT posted on the site. They use us as lab rats for a gazillion experiments.

The most creative idea I can offer is to get the Magic Wand vibrator, my Vaginal Barbell and use them. I'm ahead of you by 10 years and if I waited to feel "turned on" or "sexually aroused" my orgasms would be nearly non-existent. My experience is after a few moments of direct clitoral stimulation with my electric vibrator, it all comes back to me. I can then focus on a very dirty fantasy and enjoy my orgasm.

Dr. Betty