What are My Boyfriend's Chances of Contracting Herpes If I Have No Sign of an Outbreak?

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Betty Dodson


I was diagnosed about a year ago with herpes simplex 2 virus! I recently started dating someone who knows i have herpes and during our first time together decided not to wear a condom and to perform oral sex without a Dental dam.

I have only had that first initial outbreak and nothing ever since, what are his chances of contracting the virus even if i had no signs of an outbreak? Is it safe to keep having unprotected sex?


Dear S,

The issue of Herpes is so overblown in my opinion. I have never seen it as a serious STD, rather similar to the common cold or a cold sore one gets on the mouth. Big deal!! It seems different people respond differently to this virus. My first outbreak happened in the 70's when we were all enjoying sex in groups. If you didn't have Herpes you weren't really into sex was our attitude back then.

Then I went more than a decade with no outbreaks. During periods of high stress, a small group of blisters would appear but it was never a big deal and they dried up and went away in two weeks. My approach is not to have partnersex when I have an active blister. According to the literature on webmd, you can get it from cells shedding even without an active sore.

I say we all have immune systems and taking care of ourselves in terms of diet, exercise and rest is as good a medicine as you can get. The idea of taking Valtrex at $300 per jug is in my mind feeding the monster called Big Pharma. The decision of not using condoms and dental dams is an individual choice once you have birth control in place. For me, unprotected sex means no birth control and that I don't recommend.

Dr. Betty

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