Virgin Asks: How Can I Make My First Time Great?

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Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

First off, I love your work and your message. I'm 27, a virgin and I started masturbating about 6 months ago. And, your videos have really helped me to learn about self-love. My only fear now is my lack of skill in the sack. I've started seeing a nice guy about a month ago and now I'm considering having sex with him.

But I'm afraid of being a dud in bed. How can I make my first time with him a great one that will make him want me more?

Dear M,

You have the wrong emphasis here: "How can I make my first time with him a great one that will make him want him more?" Already you are a slave to his opinion and since you are a novice, you'll have to put on a porn act and fake pleasure. Let him know you are new to partnersex. Start with honesty not some foolish notion of getting him to fall for you or want more sex.

First off, don't expect to have an orgasm from intercourse alone. Most important is to enjoy what feels good and communicate when something is uncomfortable. Most guys love to have a girlfriend who can answer the question: "What or how do you like to be bla, bla bla?." Since you are so new to exploring your own body, honesty is always the best. A possible answer could be, "I don't know how I like my clitoris to be touched because I've just started exploring this myself."

Wow! A girl who is honest and direct is a winner. If he doesn't think so, then he's a looser. Most likely it will all be over before you figure out what's even happened. Unless your BF is experienced, and if that's the case, never hesitate to ask him honest questions. Why do we think we must appear to be experts? Chances are he's more nervous than you about all this. Communicate!!!

Dr. Betty