Should I Tell My Lovers That I Might Ejaculate?

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Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

First of all, your site has helped me feel a lot more comfortable with my sexuality, so thank you for that! I do however still have some hangups, and here is one. With my last sexual partner, I squirted while being penetrated. It did not happen every time we had sex and when it did it was the first time I'd ever ejaculated. Luckily, with that particular situation it didn't matter that it was fairly messy. I wonder though if I should warn the next guy I'm with that I may ejaculate? Should I say something beforehand, just for the sake of courtesy? It's not something I'm sure will happen every time I have intercourse, and I'm afraid it's something some guys may be scared of if they've never encountered it before. Any advice would be appreciated!

Dear E,

If you are having sex in your bed then definitely put down a towel or a baby's pee pad to protect your sheets and mattress. That's an opportunity to say you might squirt when you come. If you're at his place, ask for a towel and explain why. Or let the fluid fall where it may and say nothing.

According to what I've learned, many men adore the idea of a woman squirting. Of course they take credit for it. . . a sign they are magnificent lovers who cause you to ejaculate which they think means an orgasm. Of course women who do ejaculate have told me that squirting is not always accompanied by an orgasm. Ah sweet mystery of life and sexual response!

I can already tell you are way too concerned about protecting the male ego by making sure you won't scare some guy. They are more sturdy than that. If by any chance a little fluid (or a lot) upsets some dude, just move along to a guy who is better grounded and more flexible.

Dr. Betty

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