I'm Sore After Sex & Think I'm Allergic to Ejaculate...Help

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Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

First I want to say how amazing you and Carlin are. You've changed my life and im so happy I found out about you guys while im so young because you've probably saved me lots of self hate and embarrassment. (im 19 but iv been studying you and your teachings since i was 18) You've taught me to be proud of myself, my body and my sexuality and now i have an open and healthy relationship with sex and my sexual partners and im not afraid to ask for what i want!

I have recently got a new sexual partner. Actually he's my first real boyfriend. He's great, he really is. He cares about me and my sexual satifaction but at the same time doesnt let it effect his ego that he cant make me come personally. He loves it when i use toys and helps out or just holds me while i make myself come. He'll wait and wait even if he has finished ages ago until im done and loves it when he walks in on my having a cheeky masturbation session with myself and understands i need more than a penis thrusting inside me to make me cum.

Recently though i am getting sore from sex very easily. We will have sex say 3 times in a day and then i cant have sex anymore for a couple of days because im so sore. Is this because iv never had regular sex before as iv only ever had one night stands every now and then. Will it get better and i wont get so sore so easily? I would like to have sex 3 times a day everyday without being sore or is that just being greedy and expecting to much of myself?

Also recently we made the decision to stop using condoms as we both had a sexual health check and i am on the pill. When he came inside me about half an hour later my outer lips and clit swelled to an abnormal size and i almost had an aching feeling inside my pussy and i felt a bit sick. Iv heard of girls who are allergic to cum and i was wondering if you think this is what it could be? Its only ever happened once before but that was when i lost my virginity and i thought i was just sore from that. I have had 2 other men come inside me before and they were both fine and i didnt react to them. Its very painful so we have gone back to using condoms and it hasnt happened since. I would really like to stop using condoms as i like being so connected to someone but im not prepared to be in pain to achieve this. If you do think i could be allergic to semen do you know any treatment that could help me?

Thank you Betty and i hope to hear from you soon.

Dear K,

We appreciate your compliments with a big smile. From what you have said, you obviously have an open-minded BF. Treat him well. My first question is what kind of additional lubrication are you using, especially when you have sex several times in one day? When he is wearing a condom, you must use a water based lube and many are full of chemicals. Some women are allergic to them. Since you are on the pill, why not try a lube that contains vitamin E that has healing properties.

Yes it is possible to have an allergic response to a man's semen. Some women adjust and after a while the problem disappears. Others do not. Still others have discovered that after living together and being more closely on a similar diet, the allergy goes away as your body learns to accept his semen. Going back to condoms makes sense for now. But again, I urge you to always use additional lubrication for all kinds of penetration sex. Just be sure to read the labels on the bottle and avoid the one's with too many chemicals.

I'm forwarding this to Eric my protege as he is more familiar with condoms and different types of lubrication. I'm still using Almond Oil with vitamin E.

Dr. Betty