I Want to Have Regular Penetrative Sex

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Betty Dodson

Hi there,

I suffer from Ankylosing spondylitis and have searched online for help with positioning to help me feel comfortable during sex.

My partner says that she is happy, but I mostly use my hands, mouth and the occasional toy, which I am happy with too and it brings enjoyment and pleasure for my partner. But, I would like to just have regular penetrative sex sometimes, but It can be difficult and uncomfortable and painful for me as I have limited movement in my back, hips and pelvis and no movement in my neck.

My partner is a bigger woman, so it is also difficult for her being on top of me. Is there anything you suggest we can try? Or, a website with tips etc.

Thanks for hearing me out.

Dear P,

You gotta hand to the medical professionals with their new fancy names for diseases that they have THE corresponding med to recommend."Ankylosing spondylitis" is a fancy name for arthritis! The entire population past the age of 40 has some degree of stiff joints and pain with movement including myself. And guess what? Big Pharma has the perfect med for you take that is NOT worth a shit. Excuse my language but I'm so sick of hearing all their aggressive ads on TV followed by a stream of serious side affects that makes me wonder if people really hear what they are saying? those greedy bastards will stop at nothing to keep raising the bottom line for bigger profits. All at our expense of course.

First: Look into alternative healing modalities by changing your diet. There is much information available online for self-healing.

Second: Just so you know, most women do NOT orgasm from a penis inside their vaginas. That's procreative sex and since you are not looking to get pregnant, all the other things you're doing sexually are best for her. I understand the natural urge men have to fuck. It's a biological drive. Also porn constantly emphasis fucking for the benefit of their primary male viewers and we all agree porn is entertainment for guys.

Carlin and I have a saying: "Monkey see, monkey do. I stick my penis inside you." We are still just a different breed of Ape.

How about having your wife give you oral sex or a fancy hand job so your penis gets included when you share sex together. You might also want to check out the LOVE RAMPS that are on our site. They offer support for different positions for people with some kind disability. A much better investment than a med that has some deadly side affect that's as bad if not worse than what they're suppose to cure.

Dr. Betty

Dear Betty,

Thanks for the advice.

I have changed diet to Gluten free an low carb no sugar as my doctor suggested, also doing hydrotherapy and many other treatments which I am seeing the benifit of now.

AS is actually an auto immune disease, my spine has completely fused, I have no movement in my neck and tendons etc are calcifying and turning to bone. Also, my pelvis and hips have separated. I am also open to all sorts of infections and diseases. Sorry, I just get frustrated when people say that it is just Arthritis!

I am in Australia where our medical professionals are not driven by dollars and are free to see and advertisements for pharmaceutical products is illegal and my medication costs me about 5 dollars a month, where in the US it would cost me up to 50,000 dollars per year. It is actually very hard and can take years to get pain medications here as we have extremely rigid and strict laws. We have universal health care and a disability support scheme where I receive help in all area of my life.

In my country we also have a great pension system, My sister receives 1000 dollars every two weeks for being my carer and I recieve 900 every two weeks. My American friends have told me about how in their country there are constant ads and Doctors can cost astronomical amounts and that the support system for the disabled is ridiculous (sorry for ragging on your country).

Thanks again

Hi P,

Thanks for the clarification on your AS. It sounds far more grim than in your first question to me. And what a contrast Australia is compared to mean corporate America. We are so cruel here in the USA.

Those of us who are basically healthy have little understanding of what it would be like to live with a serious problem. I'm facing the first big challenge in my life called "aging." Growing old may be my final battle. So take care and lets both find what little pleasure we can while we're here.

Dr. Betty

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