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Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a twenty year old female and have been having sex with my boyfriend for about eight months. I can't seem to reach orgasm from manual stimulation by myself or with him. I even bought a vibrator and used it hoping to experience the big "O."

I can feel myself getting close (or what I think is close) but it is like a tickling sensation and I have to stop before I feel any kind of release. I usually get sore for a couple days after I masturbate or after my boyfriend stimulates me. I've tried everything I can think of to orgasm but I just can't get myself to do it! I don't feel l womanly because I cannot orgasm. Help me, please!

B

Dear B,

I get several questions like yours a day. Again it's a young woman in her early twenties trying desperately to have a BIG O. If you would have developed your sexuality naturally, you would have been masturbating throughout your entire childhood without guilt or shame. Women who are late starters need to slow down and not expect fireworks from a big O like the big bang! Orgasms can start small and grow over time, especially if you are new to sex.

It's both a blessing and a curse that we all have access to so much sex information because a good part of it is exaggerated romantic images or just plain old bull shit. Dr. Freud would tell you to leave you immature clitoris alone and learn to come with vaginal stimulation. Many decades later feminists brought back the clitoris and put it in it's rightful primary place. But now we have g, c and d spots inside the vagina which further confuses us. The vibrator can be a girls best friend but it has to be used properly. So many young women today are pressing into their sweet pussies using a vibrato like it's a jack hammer while demanding results. No wonder our clits complain and refuse to respond. Like I've said many times, back off your orgasm quest for a while. Just enjoy the good feelings that you do experience.

Meanwhile, the most important information I can offer you is to never touch your clitoris without using plenty of massage oil. That includes your boyfriend who probably thinks a little spit will do the job. NO!!!! Get my Almond massage oil.

Dr. Betty