I Can't Seem to Start Fantasizing During Masturbation

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Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I have recently started reading 'Sex For One'. Got a vibrator and am spending time with myself. Awesome! My question is...I really can't seem to 'get my head in the game' unless I watch some form of porn, which is fine, however I would like to find other ways of masturbating that are a little more personal. I have perused your site quite intensively and have only been able to find bits and pieces of an answer...Revenge of the Nerds seems to be a fairly person by person thing. What can I do to start triggering some sexual fantasies? Are there other things that women do to get in the mood (and STAY IN THE MOOD)?


Dear L,

When I first began learning how to have sexual fantasies, I would go over a sexual happening I'd actually experienced and then mentally embellish it while using my vibrator. Drawing sex often gets me turned on. Another friend cut out pictures and photos from magazines and did montages that were overtly sexual.

Many women myself included enjoy reading erotic material. The first series I really got into was the Sleeping Beauty trilogy by Anne Rice of vampire fame. Except the Beauty series is under a nom de plum A.N. Roquelaure. Also Nancy Friday did a book titled My Secret Garden and Susie Bright has published a series of Erotic short stories. How about writing you own fantasy or drawing it?

However the idea of "staying in the mood indefinitely would defeat the purpose of feeling "aroused" once it becomes your every day state of mind. Send us your reading list if you go there.

Dr. Betty

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jungle lover


i fantasized about a being in a jungle with a girl in gray leopard print underwear swinging from tree to tree like a female tarzan,then i fantasized about myself and a was hot.