How Do I Transition From the Barbell to Full Penetration?

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Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I am a 33 old woman who began her masturbation journey after turning thirty. Thanks to the information available on your website, your inspiring books and youtube channel with Carlin, I think I have made steady progress and can now enjoy orgasms using clitoral stimulation alone. I am also able to slowly slide Betty's Barbell in and out of my vagina during the process without any apprehension or discomfort and though it does feel nice when the larger blob makes contact with the vaginal entry point, it is pretty uneventful once the barbell is almost completely inside me.

Is that normal? What does one have to do to enhance pleasure using the barbell?

I think I am ready to try partner sex with my husband who has been most loving and patient all these years, while respecting my desire to enjoy my sexual journey at my own pace.

I need some technical advice on this transition from barbell to penis penetration. After I have relaxed my muscles by masturbation and he is erect after his own, should the penis be able to just slide in like the barbel instantly? It doesn't seem to right now (possibly because it is bigger) and though we have tried him getting his erect penis at what feels like the right spot for vaginal entry and going back and forth, he is unable to stimulate himself at that time and as a result, keep the erection for very long. Any tips on what we could try next?

Thank you so much.


Dear I,

The Barbell is a resistant device to work the PC muscle against. You ask, "What does one have to do to enhance pleasure using the barbell"? Are you squeezing and releasing this muscle rhythmically while masturbating? This is important. Your husband will also feel the same muscle on his penis while he's fucking you. Relax the muscle going in with his penis, tightening it as he withdraws.

It's like hugging his penis with your vagina. Slow penetration is the ideal. That's when you consciously relax the muscle. You kids are really doing great. Keep up you home classes of masturbation and enjoy yourself.

Dr. Betty