How Can You Receive Oral Sex When You Have Herpes?

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Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

A couple years ago I was diagnosed with Genital Herpes. My Girlfriend is informed about this, and we are very open about it. In an attempt to not spread this to her, She does not perform Oral sex on me. The thing is, that she told me she has a hard time getting close to me sexually because of this, She wants to and I want her to but we do not want to spread it.

I had read something about taking a rubber glove and slitting it up the side that the pinky finger is on, and cutting off all the fingers besides the thumb, then putting the thumb piece into my vagina and holding the flaps open over top. Now great idea!! But when I get wet, it seems to slip and slide and not stay where I want it to. Any other suggestions for me?


Dear Anon,

I'm going to assume you are both women. First of all, Herpes is not such a serious matter. I'd say more of an inconvenience. The recommended approach for oral sex is to use a dental dam. Something like what you made with a latex glove.

It's not necessary to push it inside your vagina as your clitoris will get all the action. It's held in place by the partner who is giving oral sex. Any vaginal penetration with a dildo is very safe. If she uses her hand for vaginal penetration then a latex glove is fine but not necessary. She simply washes her hands afterward.

Dr. Betty

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