Does Fantasizing About Women Make Me Gay?

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Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am a 24 year old woman and I've been masturbating since i was 7-8 and i love it!! best thing god created for men and women. anyways I've been wondering when i masturbate i always think of other women in my sexual fantasies when I'm doing it. Does this mean that I could be a lesbian? (I am a straight woman). I would love to hear your advice.



Dear F,

There will be a lot of different opinions about sexual orientation. And it's different for men and women. For instance, women are usually far more flexible in experimenting with same sex while men tend to avoid it. In terms of our basically male dominated view of sexuality, a woman having sex with another woman is a turn-on for most men and enhances her femininity. However, a man having sex with another man destroys his masculine image. It's just one more sexual double standard established by the ruling class of straight men in a world drenched in homophobia.

I personally believe a person's sexual preference is far more fluid than we dare to admit. That's why the label "Bisexual" is very useful. We might have a period of experimenting with same sex partners but many return to their basic orientation of heterosexual. I love the term "hetero-flexible." Why not try it all?

Anyone who delves into sexual pleasure will have had many varied sexual experiences with both genders. In spite of the fact that many folks are involved in consensual role play or mixing pain with pleasure, the world of Slave & Master is still misunderstood. Another hidden aspect of human sexuality is bestiality in spite of the fact that sex with animals has been depicted in sex art throughout history in different cultures.

When it comes to our sexual fantasies, I'd say the sky is the limit. We all know that rape is a popular masturbation fantasy for many women. This does not mean we want to have the experience. I make it a point not to censor myself by allowing the thought police to enter my mind.

Dr. Betty

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