After finishing my professional education, I completed multiple self-development programs such as NLP, coaching, family constellations; I also started my own coaching practice. Something that bothered me, however, was the fact that nobody I met during my life and these trainings was talking about intimacy and sexuality, something I strongly yearned for. Although this bothered me, I never dared to bring it up either. I didn’t feel the space to ask questions since it was a taboo. I had no idea where to begin my search for answers and how I could learn more about it. I felt ashamed about these thoughts and feelings because I was happily married and a mother of two kids. In my upbringing there was an unwritten rule that marriage fulfilled everything, so I felt guilty that my relationship wasn’t enough for me.
During a women’s workshop I attended I got an important revelation. I picked up Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ book, Women Who Run with the Wolves. In Dutch the title would be translated to The Untamed Woman. The word untamed made me feel sad. I was struggling to live fully; I was insecure and felt locked up as if I was a caged animal. I realized that because of my upbringing and the influence of the church, I got tamed. There, in that workshop, I began to understand my urge to explore more about intimacy and sexuality. One concept is linked to the other: to feel free, being intimate with yourself and feeling happy with your body, including sexuality, belongs to an untamed life.
Through tantra, Taoism, breathwork and the healing working of medicinal plants I began to explore. During this journey I processed my unlived and hidden emotions and learned a lot about sexual intimacy. I’ve connected with my intimate self again. I got to know the untamed woman I am, she is inside of me and had always been there.
While watching Netflix’s Gooplab, I saw the then ninety-year-old Betty Dodson talking about her work with women and sexuality and how she has developed Bodysex. Betty’s life energy, how she was glowing while talking about her (self)love for sexuality, got me very excited. “This is how I want to grow old,” I told myself. After contacting Carlin Ross, I started the training to become a Bodysex facilitator.
Bodysex taught me that enjoying myself sexually and masturbation are ways to enjoy my body to the fullest. It is a way to recharge myself without a partner and makes me feel more vital. It’s empowering myself.
Are you curious about me and would you like to arrange an individual session or a Bodysexcircle, feel free to contact me through firstname.lastname@example.org, visit my website www.bernadettevanderdoorn.nl or send me a text message 031655338932