We Understand Very Little of What is ‘Normal’ for Women When It Comes to Sexuality
I have been a supporter of The Women’s National Health Network for more years than I can remember. Their information is so very valuable.
The last email to my friend Cindy Pearson who heads up the organization was a complaint about two columns on the back page “The G Spot and The Sore Spot.” At the time, the damn G spot was confusing both women and men about female sexual response. Porn had men diving inside our vaginas trying to find this magic “spot” which was disheartening. Seventies feminists had finally put the clitoris on the map and now we were back inside the vagina which is the birth canal.
The clitoris is our primary organ for pleasure and orgasms. Yes, there are many ways to “get off” but I’m speaking about the majority of womankind.
In this latest issue (volume 40 issue 6), I totally agreed while reading about the latest big Pharma rip-off with the article titled, “Flibanserin: The FDA’s Approval is Bad Science and Bad Precedent.” I’ve been calling out doctors for over-prescribing antidepressants without explaining to patients they will sacrifice their orgasms to become emotionally flat lined. Now we have Flibanserin to counter Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder. Does that mean too much or not enough sex desire?
You’ve got to hand it to professionals who manage to keep us confused. HSDD means we are NOT interested in having sex. But if I take this pill every day, my overweight sullen husband of twenty some years will become a hot stud in my drugged out state and I’ll jump his bones when we get into bed, even though we’re both exhausted. Frankly a few drinks would yield more benefit BUT I can’t drink alcohol while on this drug! You have got to be kidding me?
While reading the article the author stated: “The medicalization of sexual desire and sexual behavior should not be celebrated as revolutionary. We understand very little of what is ‘normal’ for women when it comes to sexuality.” I agree with this statement. However, we understand a lot more about female sexuality today if people just paid attention to some of the latest information coming out in books and online that deal with what women want. I’m going to shamelessly promote my own work educating women and society at large about female sexuality.
My self-published book titled Liberating Masturbation; a Meditation on Selflove came out in ’74 and was a feminist classic. In 1986 it was sold to Crown and became a best selling book. Renamed Sex for One; The Joy of Selfloving it continues to be available after forty years— the same age as WNHN.
Today, vaginal penetration is preferred by most men while women need some form of direct clitoral stimulation to enjoy our orgasms. Society is still following the male model of sexual response that is endlessly promoted by online porn that’s become sex ed for our kids. Once a woman can give herself an orgasm she can show her partner what works for her. This is where the exploration of masturbation comes in. We can no longer expect Prince Charming to read Sleeping Beauty’s mind. When we each discover our sexual preferences, women and men can share equal orgasms.
So it’s not such a big mystery after all. Many people understand what “normal” is for women when it comes to our sexual pleasures. Just ask any self-loving woman how she likes to have her orgasms.