Self Pleasure Rituals, Without Ejaculation, Continued Well into My Teens

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Lawrence Lanoff

I was 6 years old. That’s when my sexual energy began feeling so strong, that I would pleasure myself in the bathtub. Because there was no ejaculation, there was never a formal ending. The energy of pleasure would stay with me. Feelings of love, connectedness, and intense attraction flowed through my little body.

It was from this place that I fell in love with Julie. She and Heidi were often my pleasure muses as a child.

I developed my self pleasure rituals over time, but one thing remained - the expansion and cultivation of pleasure. One time, when I was about 12, I listened to Donna Summer’s “Love to Love you Baby” over and over and over again. I surfed pleasure waves for hours, well into the night. Headphones on, I listened to the sexy side the album devoted to one long orgasm. The sound tingled my body, head to toe. I was hooked on the sound of a woman's orgasm dancing in and out of my body.

Self pleasure rituals, without ejaculation, continued well into my teens. But then, one evening, on the couch, lightening struck through my shivering body. It was an electrical firestorm - followed by an exploding tree - that burst into flames in my belly. I wondered what had happened. From that moment on, life was different. I couldn’t wait to come home from school to play with my new discovery.

Surfing the pleasure is something that I love to do.

As an adult now, the beauty of self pleasure is actually sharing my normally private ritual with my partner. Self pleasure has become an act of personal empowerment. Its my time to liberate myself completely, to breathe, relax, expand my freedom, and make my body feel really, really good.

Self pleasure is my spiritual meditation.

I go into a deep pleasure trance. That’s a very powerful thing to share with another person, simply because it’s so naked and vulnerable. In this space, I am surrendered.

Taking my cock in hand, holding this pleasure power, and sharing that with my partner, takes the experience to a whole other level. Letting my partner see me being sexually turned on by her, sexually free, and completely loving my sexually empowered self - proudly, unabashedly, unapologetically - is a beautiful, powerful, empowering experience for us both.

Additionally, I love sharing my sexual energy through my eyes. This is a deep experience. It’s a sharing of the vulnerability of pleasure, peace, and freedom - my big self - with another human being.

It brings us both the feeling of being seen.

Each and every time we let ourselves be seen in our truest, deepest desires, something good happens inside.

Pleasure expands. Freedom expands. Fear diminishes. Life expands. Love expands.

My ritual varies, but the bottom line is; a day without self pleasure is like a day without, fresh air, sunshine and freedom.

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