My First Genital Show and Tell

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Carlin Ross

When you lead a Bodysex workshop, the most challenging ritual is genital show and tell.  The women are anxious. You have to watch the clock to make sure you have enough time.  Most importantly, you take on all their shame and trauma dispelling it with information and humor.  Holding the space takes all your energy.

During October's group, I noticed that Betty was especially tired after genital show and tell.  Our partnership has been a delicate balance: I don't want it to seem like I'm taking anything away.  As we spoke on the phone a few days before the workshop, I asked Betty if she'd like me to lead genital show and tell.  She answered with a resounding "yes".  That is the beauty of our partnership.  We're equally committed to sexual liberation and healing for women.  The work is larger than us.  Letting go of ego and agendas frees us to fully embrace feminism and our true selves.  Jealousy and competition have no place in a Bodysex workshop.

We had women from Australia, the UK and both coasts.  It was a big group; several women were returning to the circle for healing.  I love having women in the circle for a second time.  We form such deep connections that it feels like going home.  It's like spending the weekend with your favorite people in the world.  

Leading genital show and tell felt effortless.  Betty was on a stool and watched as each woman sat next to me to view her sex organ and appreciate it's beauty.  I went over my records - Betty and I have lead 50 workshops together and two retreats.  I've worked for the largest law firm in the country, raised $1B on Wall Street and Bodysex is my greatest achievement.  Knowing that almost 1,000 women have joined us in the circle means more than any pay check or accolade.  

As we started Day 2, Betty asked the women how I did leading my first genital show and tell and they all applauded.  When women support women, the feeling of warmth and generosity permeates your very being. It felt like sunshine on my skin.

Erotic recess was super-charged.  We had several orgasmic women whose guttural sounds inspired our pre-orgasmic women.  It's fascinating how easily we can move into pleasure when we are surrounded by authentic orgasm.  I had to snap a pic:


Erotic Recess


I could see that one woman was getting frustrated so I crawled over to support her.  She felt that it was taking her too long to orgasm.  I know we've all been there.  I moved the barbell in and out of her vagina, breathing and releasing sounds for her to mimic and follow.  In ten minutes, she was right in front of an orgasm - not long at all in the realm of things that suck up our time as women. 

I worked with three women in the circle.  It struck me that all they needed was quiet support and cues to breathe and release sound.  As they were orgasming, their pelvic floor muscles gripped the barbell tight yet they questioned the intensity of their orgasm.  If I had let go of the barbell, it would have shot out across the room - no joke.  There was still a disconnect  between their minds and their bodies - shame and guilt run deep.  Every time we orgasm we rise closer to the surface, closer to freedom.  

As the women took part in group massage, Betty and I chatted while she drank some champagne.   It seemed fitting since the circle was her achievement.  One of the women knelt before Betty, leaned in and announced, "I understand what you're doing.  You're releasing us from shame".  Betty smiled and gave her a hug.  It was a beautiful moment between two beautiful women. 

It was a magical weekend.  Thank you







Jong the Orchid


Poppy Woo




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