Just Show Up for Yourself
Everything was prepared for our first Bodysex circle in Columbus. Our location was a charmingly cozy older home rented through AirBnB. It couldn’t have been more perfect! I felt especially excited as the women arrived. There was a time that I thought this circle wouldn’t happen, but everything fell into place as it was meant to be.
As we greeted each woman, I felt immediately connected. Each one of us had a different story that brought us here. All of us were on a journey to experience more within ourselves.
One of the overarching themes that grew during this weekend was “Just *fucking* show up for yourself.” It started when one of the women shared that when she found herself resisting something hard to do, she learned that it was important to congratulate herself for just showing up. Each of us experienced different obstacles in getting ourselves to the circle – financial, emotional, scheduling, and more. But when we persist and overcome whatever stands in the way to just show up for ourselves, we move forward on our journey to become better
Another central theme from the weekend was “Ask for what you want.” It can be difficult to request something that we want or need. When one of us asked for something, we found a way to accommodate. Receiving what we need or want reinforces that it’s okay to ask. Giving feels good too. The accommodated requests created a better experience and strengthened our bond in sisterhood. Taking care of one of us takes care of all of us.
Genital Show and Tell was incredible as always. As each of us closely examined the unique beauty of our own sex organ, we were truly seen and acknowledged. Each vulva was distinctively beautiful with a variety of pubic hair styles, labia, clits, and colors. Together, we came up with delightfully creative names that fit the appearance of each vulva and its personality. Angelica is exquisitely lovely and also a bit sassy like the cartoon character. The Orchid is dramatically magnificent with velvety colors and petals. Baroness Charlotte von Cuntë looks regal in her elegant fur coat and showed classic literary style. Cuntoria, or Cunnie for short, is strong and stately but with a playful side. We were light-hearted as we shared and joyously celebrated our amazing pussies.
The greatest gift for me came at the end of our first day. As I said good-bye, now clothed, a sister spontaneously remarked “you look weird with clothes on.” She immediately started to explain what she meant, but I already understood. I’m more authentic and real in my own skin. It was strange to see me covered up. Honestly, her comment was the best compliment that I could ever receive. Before my Bodysex experiences, I thought my naked body was unacceptable and I felt a great deal of shame. Now I know and feel real love for my body. Taking off my cover and allowing myself to be seen fully as I am with all of my perfect imperfections is beautiful.
As everyone arrived for day two, I noticed a visible change in the women. There were more smiles and everyone looked more relaxed. No prompting was needed to take off our clothes and gather in the circle. One woman commented that yesterday she was careful about how she sat but after genital show and tell, she could sit comfortably without worrying if she exposed herself. There was a mix of excitement and apprehension about masturbating together. This was going to be a big day!
After a demonstration of the Rock n Roll Orgasm technique, we were ready to get started. To build readiness and comfort with touching ourselves, we began with moving our bodies and vibrators while standing in a circle. Music with a slow, sexy beat set the mood. Some of us moved with the music while others felt uncomfortable dancing. The important part was just moving and presenting ourselves as sexual beings.
Next I gave guidance for the Rock n Roll Orgasm technique as we practiced together. I set the pace a steady prompt: “Squeeze, release; squeeze, release; inhale, exhale; inhale, exhale.” Next we practiced the Pillow Fuck and the “Pretzel” Style techniques together. I appreciate that we can see one another while practicing these methods. I could tell that the women were feeling aroused from all of this stimulation – and so was I! Time for Erotic Recess.
I stressed that orgasm isn’t the goal of Erotic Recess. Whenever I put pressure on myself to orgasm, I have a hard time getting there. It’s like I’m chasing a bus, and just when I almost catch up, “the bus” aka orgasm speeds away from me. At the start of most every Erotic Recess, I’m more in my head. It takes me awhile to centered in my body. Hearing the sounds of other women in pleasure helps me find my own. After my first couple of small orgasms, I took a break to look around the room. Each woman looked so gorgeous with flushed, dewy skin and rosy cheeks. Every facial expression was radiant and beautiful. I always love seeing the variety of masturbation positions and techniques used. I noticed one position that looked intriguing so I decided to mimic it for my next round of pleasure. I laid with my back on the floor with my feet propped up on the edge of the sofa with my legs bent and knees open wide. I put my vibrator to work and got lost in my fantasy. As I felt myself getting close to a huge orgasm, I realized that I was “chasing the bus” again instead of letting my orgasm come to me. So I switched up my fantasy to imagining that I was masturbating at a bus stop. I didn’t want the bus to come because I would have to end my pleasure and get on the bus. Just as the bus pulled up in my fantasy, I had a huge, loud, full-body orgasm. It certainly was an unconventional fantasy, but it worked for me! The sights, smells, and sounds in the room indicated that each of us had climaxed. We are all certified orgasmic!
The group massage ritual gives us another opportunity to connect with one another by giving and receiving nonsexual touch. As I massaged each of the sisters in our circle, I felt an abundance of love and gratitude. Giving generously and receiving completely is what our sisterhood in Bodysex is all about.
Thank you for just showing the fuck up for yourself and for all of us in sisterhood.
Baroness Charlotte von Cuntë
Cuntoria, aka “Cunnie”