It's Like My Whole Body is Fleshier, Softer, More Womanly

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Carlin Ross

I just finished my period - my third real period since going off the pill.  There are so many things coming back to me...feelings...body processes.  I'd forgotten what cramps were like, how much you bleed day 1 and 2 of your period, how the bleeding tapers off to a light brown shade the last day or so.   And I've upgraded by tampons to super plus.  Super just doesn't cut it anymore.  

I forgot about how much your body physically changes when you're hormone free.  Last saturday I was getting dressed for a wedding. It was an afternoon wedding and I had the perfect cocktail length dress in cream taffeta and elegant beading.  I went to pop it on and I couldn't budge the zipper.  I struggled in my bathroom staring in the mirror at what seemed like ginormous breasts bulging out at me.  That's when I realized that my entire body had shifted.

My waist was a smidge smaller and my breasts and ass were larger (I know).  It's like my whole body is fleshier, softer, more womanly.  I weigh exactly the same amount I did when I bought that dress it's just that my body is pimped out on my natural hormones.  My body has found it's preferred state.     

I tried not to freak out and opted by a D&G black corset dress with a hint of spandex.  And when I walked into that wedding all eyes were on me.  I felt so good in my own skin.   It was like I radiated sex...natural sex...period sex...real fertility.  When I took my seat, people started coming over to say hello one by one.  It was almost embarrassing but it felt great since I was there stag.  

Betty and I had a great time at the wedding.  It was the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to because of all the love you felt in that room.  For me, I was feeling self love and an appreciation for my body that I haven't had in decades.  Accepting your body is one thing...appreciating your body is another.  And I'm noticing that I'm not drinking as much - and I don't have the desire to eat sugar or fatty foods.  I don't want to do that to my body.  There's a respect for myself that I've never felt before.  And it's like all I want to do is work on the site, write my book, masturbate, exercise, and be me.   

I feel so connected to myself that nothing else seems to matter.  I'm following my life path keeping my mind clear and my heart open and that's enough.  Betty always says that it's not about being selfish it's about being self-ful.  And that's how I feel - self-ful and super f*cking happy.  Finally.    

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