It Was a Weekend of Connection

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Carlin Ross

We've been quiet. I've been working on the relaunch of D&R (which is weeks away from being done), finalizing our mobile site, closing out our Bodysex season while preparing for our Fall groups, and being a mom.

Personally, I've lost almost all interest in social media. I used to love promoting new content and posting our youtube clips but something changed for me. Net neutrality - dead. Safe online spaces for sex workers - dead. Fake news, racism, and state-sponsored cruelty - alive and well. It feels like a constant dick whipping. As I labor to raise a sex positive, happy son, I wonder whether we'll ever see the end of toxic masculinity.

It's in these moments that Bodysex brings me back. Sitting in the circle with women who traveled from New Zealand, Australia, Hawaii, the West Coast, and the Deep South for sisterhood is the reset I need to get back out there and feel confident that women will save the world.

If I had to pick one word for this group, it would be connection.

The women bonded instantly. Their shares were so deep and raw. When we hear our own struggle mirrored in the experiences of others, it reassures us that we are not to blame...that we deserve more...that culture has to shift. We share our pain and we are released. We have been seen. We have been heard. We are all valuable.

One of the women shared how she realized the goddess was within her - that instead of looking to her partner - she found deeper pleasure through self-knowledge. That resonated with another women who found herself thinking about that share. The image of her inner goddess helped her let go of her past and go inward. These are the most beautiful moments.

Then there's Betty. She is a testament to living a life on your own terms. She is our sage, our protector, our feminist war horse guiding us through each ritual with wisdom and humor. There are moments when I look over at Betty and everything stops. She is so powerful and so compassionate. It's like she glows or maybe it's an aura that fills around her when she sits in the circle. She is our hero. She absorbs our pain and hits back with humor. We laugh and laugh and laugh.

After genital show & tell, Betty takes the women through the structures of the internal clitoris explaining the female model of sexual response and how it differs from men. I like to take a few pictures because the women are always so engaged.

Older women aren't valued by our culture yet they possess the wisdom that needs to be handed down to the next generation. If you think of all the information women acquire - orgasm, menstruation, fertility, pregnancy, birth, child rearing, menopause - just from living, it doesn't make sense that there's no place for the crone in modern society. Women are the teachers and the healers. This is the type of education that I want the Betty Dodson Foundation to support. Older women sharing their knowledge with the younger generation.

Erotic recess was a joy. We orgasmed and we laughed. There's nothing more powerful than a laughgasm. One of the women had a pretty vocal orgasm and I announced, "I knew she was a screamer" and we all broke up. I wish everyone person could experience pleasure in a safe space where you could orgasm and laugh and share your joy free from shame and guilt. Betty and I believe these sort of group experiences were part of our early development as humans. When we limited pleasure to state and church-sanctioned couplings, we lost a part of our humanity. Bodysex takes us back to our past to fully experience our present.



It was a beautiful weekend and, as always, we think it was our "best group ever" (we say that after every workshop). One of the women remarked that she was surprised how much she connected with all the women in the group. She knew that she would love Betty and me but had no idea how much she was going to love each woman in the circle. That's the power of Bodysex.

Thank you
Clit and a half
My Heart
Pua Kinikini

Betty and Carlin


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