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Dr. Betty,

I just love your website!! I have a question, how do I get my boyfriend to "make love" to me instead of just always having hardcore sex? I want more "personal" time with him, in other words I want to be kissed and caressed more. He always seems to go straight to the "ass & tits" approach. There is some kissing and caressing in the beginning but I want, just once, to be kissed and caressed through the whole act!! I keep trying to throw out hints to him but he doesn't seem to get it. Don't get me wrong we love each other very much I just want to take it slow once in awhile and not feel like I'm on some porn movie. Hopefully you can help me with this.
Thanks, tommysgirl

Dear T,

Your BF is a perfect example that results from using porn as a primary form of sex education. It is now up to you to educate him about female sexual desires primarily YOURS! This is a conversation that would take place outside the bedroom. Most women agree that you have to almost hit a guy in the head with a baseball bat just to get his attention. Always begin your conversation with a compliment before you discuss your desire for more kissing and affectionate touch before and during his main event of T & A.

Be prepared to tell him something specific he does that you really like. Maybe even exaggerate a bit. Then you can add, "I'd love sex even more if WE (not you) could be more affectionate during fucking. . . . a kiss, a look, a flattering comment about what you like about the way WE make love together." You can write your own script but you get the basic idea. Teaching and learning is always based on repetition. You will also want to find clever ways to reinforce any of his
positive changes. Finally patience is required when hoping to change a person's sexual pattern. Time, patience repetition and a good dose of self-love. You deserve to get what you want.

Dr. Betty