Since I Hit my 40's Orgasm Takes a Really Long Time

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Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a 44-year-old woman who has been with my husband for 25 years. We have always had great sex and he has always put my pleasure first. I recently began having trouble reaching orgasm...even when I'm really turned on and just dying to have sex! I usually can "get there" but it takes a long, long time.

It is frustrating for both of us. I sometimes find my mind wandering and worrying about how long it is taking. I like to read romance novels to relax and to put me "in the mood" and find my libido is better than it has ever been. I find that masturbating can sometimes take longer than it used to as well.

Is this problem achieving orgasm just an aging issue? Thank you for all the great information. :)

Dear A,

As we age our sex responses change like everything else dealing with the body. You might consider getting an electric vibrator to increase the stimulation on your clitoris during masturbation and with your partner sex. Holding a vibrator on my clitoris while my lover was penetrating my vagina was some of the best sex I've ever had.

Also it's less work for your husband. My favorite is the Magic Wand but it's a bit large so many couples find the Eroscillator a better choice. They have their own website and many stores carry this vibrator.

Enjoy, the best it yet to come,

Dr. Betty

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