I Fell in Love with Myself & I Thank Each Women for Being the Mirror to My Soul

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Fabiola trejo

I’d been preparing for this for a long time...this Bodysex workshop meant everything to me. It was the culmination of the first chapter of my new, pleasurable, satisfying and erotic life.

When I was deciding what to wear to the workshop, it was just so ironic because I was about to spend the whole day in a room full of naked women. I was so nervous, so insecure about my body, about the hair on it, about the cellulite. I knew there was going to be a genital show and tell and I was so scared that my pussy wasn't at her best. I didn't groom her enough, etc.

I shared the elevator with two beautiful women who were also headed to the workshop. We rang the bell and suddenly Carlin opened the door with this amazing naked body and a big comforting smile. There was nothing else to say, think or do. We just got naked. It was as if my clothes were an obstacle between us. When I sat in the circle and looked at all the beautiful and nervous smiles, I just couldn't see their nakedness. All I saw was their souls through those eyes and smiles that welcomed me.

The whole day was overwhelming.  Immediately, I felt so comfortable with my body, I felt so free. It wasn't about nakedness or sex but about being you with absolutely no barriers. Betty is like a shaman sharing all this wisdom. It's amazing how we all were just listening and absorbing everything we could. I couldn't help watching all these women gathering so comfortably in their own skin. It was a beautiful image.  It was so intoxicating that I wished every woman could have the opportunity to experience something like this.

There are no words to explain how intense, deep, and beautiful this experience was. I thought the genital show would be more difficult for me - opening my legs in front of 9 women, displaying my vulva, touching myself, letting Betty touch my vulva, my clit, in such a non sexual way. It was just acceptance, love, and sorority. I started falling in love with my vulva, my jewel, my pearl. Every woman in the room said something beautiful about my vulva. I saw my vulva like I'd never seen her before and I loved it.

After the first session, we got dressed and it was so weird. Clothes never felt so strange for me before. I don’t understand why we cover such beautiful skin. We went for dinner and I was flying high. I couldn’t stop looking at each of them and feeling gratitude for meeting such wise and beautiful women. In less than a day, I learned so much about sorority, about my body, about being a woman, being a sex educator and I was filled with admiration.

Second day of the workshop I didn't think about what to wear. I just wanted to wear a big smile and my skin. Clothes felt so heavy on me. Two beautiful women opened the door and, in less than a minute, I was naked again and surrounded by beauty. Now, the biggest challenge was on: we were going to masturbate.

I didn't think I was going to be able to orgasm because I'd been having trouble lately but I decided to give it a shot. Betty was showing us her technique by having Carlin demonstrate how to use the barbell, how to penetrate ourselves, how to use our pc muscle and how to use the vibrator. She looked so serious like this was a real class.  Now, I am apart of her legacy and must learn, live and transmit this information to other women.

Time to masturbate. I took the vibrator and put it close to my clit and oh it felt amazing! Maybe it was the beautiful images of these women's bodies - maybe it was being aware of my own body but as the exercises began I wanted to come but, no, I didn't want to come so soon. Everybody was so focused and I didn't want be the first. Suddenly, I just couldn't hold back. It was one orgasm after another...orgasm on top of orgasm and it felt so beautiful. I wasn't thinking anymore. Every so often I would open my eyes and see someone orgasming and I'd orgasm again. I shared an orgasm with Betty and I'll hold that in my heart and my pussy forever. I shared my orgasm with a legend. Betty called me a "sex piggy" a few times and I loved it. She did it once as I was orgasming and I couldn't stop laughing - laughing while orgasming was so liberating!

The group massage was the most spiritual part for me. Feeling other women's bodies, skins, tattoos between my fingers...their toes between my fingers...touching their breasts in such a non-sexual way. We were just loving and venerating our bodies. I thank all these women for the touch of their fingers over my skin. I won't forget all their smiles over me...teasing me with their hands.

I really hope every woman can have this experience. I know it sounds intimidating but it was so natural. It's no wonder we're always so stressed and worried and insecure. It's because we keep sexuality hidden in the closet repressed by guilt and shame.

That weekend I fell in love with myself and I thank each women in that room for being the mirror to my soul.

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