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Dear Betty,

I have recently been having trouble with pain during and after sex. I have only ever been with two men and both times I have had pain during sex and occasionally after as well. I have some medical issues in the gynecological dept. I have had surgery for endometreosis and also surgery on my uterus.

Recently I have had more pain during sex and it is not enjoyable for me at all, plus my partner feels bad that he is hurting me. I went to the doctors and had some tests done and some ultrasounds done (which were very painful as well). During the ultrasound the technician kept apologizing for hurting me and informed me that "nothing was really where it was supposed to be".

Apparently my uterus is enlarged and tilted way back and my cervix is super sensitive and also not where it typically is in most women. The doctor informed me that this is probably why I have so much pain during sex (because my partner is probably hitting my uterus which in tern puts pressure on my cervix and my bladder as well. I just don't really know what to do about this? Does this mean that from now on sex will always be painful? Do you have any tips or ideas on what I can do? My doctor didn't offer me much advice and I am feeling a little confused and worried. I appreciate you taking the time to read and hopefully respond to this message. Thanks.

Dear B,

First of all, until you figure this out, stop having vaginal penetration sex. There are so many other ways to enjoy your orgasms alone and with a partner. I do not have enough information to even hazard a guess as to what is happening and I am not a medical doctor. However, I'm a strong believer in being your own healer.

Things you might ask yourself: did you ever have pain from sex before the first surgery for endometriosis?

What kind of surgery did you have done on your uterus and how might that relate to your current pain?

As for the ultrasound technician saying that "nothing was really where it was supposed to be" I question that. We are not made from cookie cutters that make us all look the same.

If penetration sex is hitting your cervix, your partner might have an extra large penis or he is thrusting too deep. Perhaps you are not sufficiently sexually aroused and since the pain is prevalent, you are most likely tensing up.

I suggest you continue to seek more information. Find a woman GYN and get another opinion or two or even three. Go online and search for answers there. Talk to your girl friends about what you are going through.

Finally as a sexologist I'd like to know your age, are you orgasmic and how long have you been sexually active? No matter what happens or what you find out, do not suffer any more pain from intercourse. It's overrated and not most of us rarely experience an orgasm with that kind of sex. However, most men favor vaginal penetration but that doesn't mean you have to be accommodating.

Dr. Betty