Hi Betty,
I always was, from a young age, aware that things were different for me "downstairs" in comparison with other guys. My cock has a little twist in it, has a sort of longitudinal "S" curve in it, and is very thick at the base. It looked so different from other erect cocks I had seen on guys, and of course I looked quite different from what I saw in typical porn material. I envied those with nice straight penises that looked so streamlined. Everywhere I looked, in various media and art, having an attractive cock meant a nice straight shaft.
I was very worried and embarrassed when it came time to be sexual with someone. I thought she might say "Eeek! What happened to you!" and as you might imagine I was very shy about exposing myself. It is indeed lucky for me that, as a teenager, my first partners said nothing about it. In reflection, I realize there probably was nothing to comment on; even though I was a little different, I think these women, to their credit, were wise enough to know little variations in geography can happen.
As I had more encounters, my feeling about the appearance of my cock changed. My partners gave me the gift of self-worth. I learned from them that my odd shape was an asset, and it was a positive thing instead of a negative. I was told it was "like a great sex toy", "your curves are soooo good", or "whoa that's thick." I paid close attention to each partner, and noticed how she liked to please herself with my cock. Each found a different aspect they favored, and their movements revealed this aspect. Some choose to use the first inch of curve exclusively inside them. Some prefer me to kneel and squat in front of them, and for me to lean back a little during penetration; it seems to press the top of my downward curving shaft on or near their G-spot. Other seem to enjoy sitting on top, taking me in fully to the base, and rocking forwards and back with their hips, so my head brushed gently across their cervix while brushing their opening on my base. Or some love to simply be on top, and slide their pussies along the length of my cock, hitting my "speed bump" that the "S" shape creates along the bottom of my cock.
By seeing all the variety of ways these women used my cock, I was healed of my poor self-image. They showed me that I could provide pleasure, and that I was more attractive by this very thing. Now my image of my cock is completely different. Having been embarrassed, and later proud, it is now less of a focus. As I continue to expand my sexual journey I feel now it is wonderful, but yet just a simple sexual method or tool among many that I can use to give pleasure to someone. Indeed, by now seeing my cock as attractive, I can actually move past it and experience the greater sexuality possible by not being so focused on it. And this is freedom!
E.C.
