My Girlfriend's Vagina is Too Big For My Penis

Wed, 07/07/2010 - 10:34
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have a girl friend for 5 years.  I'm the first man she totally had sex with but from the first day we had sex, after a couple of penetrations, i felt it's too big for me.  My penis is fine (kind of average,, 6 inches) as i had been through different sex experiences with other girls and it was fine and some times very tight but after i got into my relationship (I never cheated on her by the way).

Every time we start to have sex after she gets aroused it (her Vagina) gets bigger and bigger till it reaches the point that i feel like it's so so big i can't feel i'm inside something...and it's been quite some years from the day we started to have sex.  We never communicate about it and i don't wanna make her feel she is abnormal (I pray she is not).  What can I do about it??

Dear A,

Genital size incompatibility is not uncommon and it will remain a problem until you speak about it so you can seek a solution. One possibility would be for your girlfriend to become aware of her pelvic floor muscles and learn how to use them to grip your average penis. This will require some form of communication which I believe is essential for any good sexual relationship. If you don't want to upset her you can blame your lack of sensation on your small penis. Since she hasn't had sex with anyone else, she will not know that your 6 inches is average. Ask how she feels about your penis. If you don't feel any contact neither does she!

Do you know if she's having orgasms? Very few women orgasm from vaginal penetration only. Usually when a woman has a climax the vaginal muscles will tighten or squeeze a few times. Check out my information under Betty's Vaginal Barbell and perhaps get her one. Suggest she work on her toning her pelvic floor muscles that will enhance both of your pleasure. Or, focus on other forms of sexual stimulation like manual or oral sex to enjoy more sensation. I don't know your age or much else, but in situations of size incompatibility, you also might consider finding another partner.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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My vagina is getting loose

Thu, 08/19/2010 - 01:20
Anonymousd (not verified)

Dear Dr. Betty,
I have been having sex for about two years now and im starting to get worried that my vagina is loose. Sometimes during sex I can't feel anything no matter what the size the mans penis is. I used to get more enjoyment from sex but now that my vagina is loose I simply can't. Is there anyway i can tighten up the muscles in my vagina? PLEASE HELP!

Dr Betty That is a terrible

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 11:18
Luke (not verified)

Dr Betty

That is a terrible thing to say at the end of your "answer" there... What negative advise... Also the lad has NOT got a small penis, so why are you telling him to say that he has!?

Shame on you

Oh really Luke, read what I said again before shaming me.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:15

My suggestion was as follows:
If you don't want to upset her you can blame your lack of sensation on your small penis. Since she hasn't had sex with anyone else, "she won't know your 6 inches is average."

What are you packing my sensitive one?

re:girlfriends vagina too loose

Sun, 05/24/2015 - 12:28
Dr.Who (not verified)

Wow,what kind of doctor are you.that was the worst advise ever!Clearly theres issues in that relationship to begin with then you advise him to lie,emply to her that he's not enough and suggest seperation.I'm no doctor nor am i going to promote a dumbell definitly not insulting a woman by telling her to fix her lazy pussy with a excerse.But i will share my experiance and advise.
I'm average, been with several women,some not as tight as others and was able to satisfy each one.My answer to the gentleman would be to speak with her,be honest!Lying never solves anything just adds to the problems.I agree oral will help along with other ways to satisfy your partner i.e foreplay,porn,toys or different postions.Being with someone is more than sex,its loyalty,respect,honesty,heart and soul.So if you love her stay and love her,don't leave her over pussy size,thats shallow!You will never be happy if pussy size is on the list of must have's.

Different sizes exist.

Sat, 08/01/2015 - 14:38
S3X (not verified)

I 30s and dating a few people, both late 20s, and never had kids.

Girl 1 ... The sex is fun but it gets boring because it's mostly one way as I don't feel much. I can make her orgasm many times but for me it's like a series of events I perform to please her. In the end I can't have a release, I do not feel enough sensation no matter how hard we try. This is without a condom. Yes, she said she does kegal exercises and I can feel a slight grip.

Girl 2 ... The sex is not an adventurous in bed as girl 1, but it feels very tight and I spend the entire time trying to keep myself from having an early release. This is how I think sex should feel. She can only orgasm 1 time, but after she does she talks dirty and I can only last a few minutes. She has no clue that an exercise exists to make it tighter, and for now I don't think I could handle it.

Thus, same penis, has two entirely different sensations depending on the vagina it's inserted in. And no I'm not tiny. Both save the size is above average.

The sad part is that girl 1 is a better overall person and likely a better long term partner, but the frustrating sex is a real deal breaker. I wish I could fix this but all of the advice on the web sucks. There is no real answer for a loose vagina.

So to all the men thinking there is a fix, don't count on it. I am guessing this is one reason married men cheat. It's a physical fix.

All I know is.........

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:57

I get REAL doubtful when a guy....of any age or penis size, has to ask a question and throw a boast in there such as "I satsify the one girl all the time during intercourse." ect, and the other "only gets one orgasm" or something of the like, I doubt either woman is getting ANY orgasms at all with this sort of fellow.
On average, when millions of guys are bragging how they know for certain that they are getting thier ladies off all the time every time, and world wide we have millions of women saying no man can give them an orgasm, especially during intercourse.....and the averages of men who say yes and the numbers of women who feel like they have to 'fake it' to either feed their guys egos or to get sex over with......you would THINK, guys would get it and try to get educated. But unfortunately, they don't. So sad.

Terrible advice

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 04:42
Chan (not verified)

Taking advice from a person like this is the last thing you should.
This doctor has no character. I mean lying to your gf? breaking up with her sho she meets someone else and has the same problem? that person repeats what you have done?

Terrible advice

Misunderstood the Question

Wed, 09/30/2015 - 16:41
Roger (not verified)

I have had the same experience with two women and I don't think they were aware of what was happening. During intercourse their entire viginia expanded like it was suddenly filled with compressed gas, creating what feels like a giant cavern. I never said anything because I did not want her to lose the mood. I assume it is a product of extreme sexual excitement. It seems to be as rare among women similar to squirting which I have only seen with one woman.

Loose Pussy

Sun, 10/11/2015 - 13:04

I last lover I had before I met my wife had a pussy that felt like a cave. We would have sex and she would scream bloody murder and I was like what? She claimed to have multiple orgasms. I didn't argue but the relationship didn't last.
When I met my wife and the first time we had sex the difference was felt. The best ever!
25 years later we are still having sex 3 times a week.

Size matters is a two way street.

your answer

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 03:55
samualpman (not verified)

Well buddy you better be 16 talking like you do......."cavernous" vagina and compressed gas? lol  man o man....... u dont have much sex huh?  when u fuck and u pull out or you come out and them go back in the vagina sucks in air......its AIR not compressed gas and yes its like your fucking the inside of a balloon...because a vagina will accomodate a very large object inside. its the opening that can tear without proper lube. (childbirth? episiomoty?) Squirting woman are not rare,,,if u know how to make them do it. I do. Also a woman who has given birth seems (read "seems") to be easier to make squirt. I dont know why, they just are in my own experience. 
So basically since the man can't make his dick bigger - it's up to the woman to do her Keegles and squeeze his dick when he's pulling out so he will feel friction - and no pain for her (if she clamped down when hes on the "in" stroke)...logic should prevail...however evidently it does not.
I have the same problem with my wife....i am 7" long and 5 1/2" around - not massive by any means but well above average. Doesn't make a difference if your woman is so wet that she can't feel you and you can't get traction inside of her either....it's because my wife gets so freaking wet....dripping wet.  She orgasms standing still waiting for a bus. It just happens to her. no control most times.  Odd but true. anyway i digress. 
the woman has to do keegles 3 x a day forever. period.  and learn how to use her pussy. not the man.

 My boyfirend wont come in

Wed, 03/09/2016 - 11:09
dL (not verified)

 My boyfirend wont come in until he has an errection. there is never any forplay involved. He doesn't want me to see his penis, so he comes in when it is dark. I never have an orgasm. I can barely feel his penis in my vagina. He is 70 years old. can I change his ways.

Intercourse is optional, duo self-pleasuring is the main course

Fri, 03/11/2016 - 11:46

What would happen, dL, if you'd demand lights on from the beginning next time you're having sex together? This is not asking too much of your partner.
I wonder if it is even safe for you to continue sex with him before you know the reason why he is hiding himself from you.
Is he selfish and naive beyond all reasonable measure? And are you overly amenable up to not respecting your safety?
What comes to mind is, he's perhaps got some visible concern that he wants to keep you uninformed about. It may be perfectly harmless, but you need to be sure.      
Minor issues in your comment are: foreplay (by boyfriend?) is missing, you say.
You are not losing much when thinking of your orgasm. Foreplay done by Bf is often a distraction  for a woman who wants to learn to orgasm during sex. Later, after knowing how to do it, foreplay of all sorts may be fine, as you know what you want, when you want it, and for how long.
The other non-problem is you don't feel his penis in your vagina.
Congratulations, you are a normal woman. This is how we women are built by mother nature even though pornography tries to insist otherwise. A woman's vagina is a birth canal for a baby. Vaginal walls have poor sensitivity.
If a woman wants to orgasm she needs to touch her clitoris and stimulate it in a sustained, uninterrupted manner 15 - 40 minutes or more, depending on the interruptions. Not very different from how a man orgasms, only he tends to need less time than a woman.
Women do not orgasm from piv-intercourse, UNLESS, this is simultaneously combined with adequate, continuous stimulation of the clitoris. Dr. Betty makes this double stimulation with penis and vibrator sound easy. It is not necessarily easy for everyone, specially if the partners are over 60. So no reason for self-blame.
When both partners are orgasmic, satisfying sex life can have many untraditional forms. It is possible even by duo/self-masturbation as the main course on the menu. Intercourse etc. may follow as optional on the side, if anyone of the two orgasmic partners even cares. 
All the advice in order to learn how to orgasm is to be found uppermost in the left side bar of this website.
Another positive is, we only need to change ourselves.
dL. keep us posted of your progress. 
L.S.

Too discreet to ask of his medications? Don't be.

Sat, 03/12/2016 - 01:08

Have you, dL, asked your boyfriend, 70, about possible use of medication (Viagra, Cialis)?
Some men, regardless of age, inconsiderately keep their use a secret from their girlfriends. The gfriends are too discreet to start the delicate discussion.
Many men keep their use a secret because of the best of motives. What else? Wouldn't it be nice to maintain the illusion of never-ending youth, in the wish that the woman also supports the fantasy.
What ensues is something not so nice for the couple.
The gf finds the bf coming to bed behaving like a coiled spring bunny pressing for intercourse, or, at least some kind of services. The male agony is acute if gf hesitates to agree. This is not fun for either of the partners.
The woman gives in with mixed feelings. She feels lied to, taken advantage of, an appliance, a 'receptacle of semen', as valued ORS aptly put it recently in her comment.
So, clearing the air from unnecessary secrets always pays off. After 60, even earlier on, viagra-type medications, in minimal amounts, may have their place in partnered sex. They may work at the beginning phase of a relationship, but become unnecessary by time.
Better yet, if the partners stay away from erection enhancing substances entirely and find natural, nutritional methods in maintaining their vigor.
Search this website for more info on nutritional methods. Please, see specially what seasoned commentator NOWHARD has to say of the subject. 
L.S. 

Vaginal secreations and Artificial lube can men feel the differe

Sun, 07/24/2016 - 21:33
Donna1 (not verified)

Vaginal secreations and Artificial lube can men feel the differience ?  What feels better if they can distiquish ?

complaint

Mon, 11/21/2016 - 05:41
Shundarb (not verified)

Is this fair to say to A to look for another partner? What was the crime of his partner? Why you 
want to break a relationship?

Vagina size

Mon, 12/12/2016 - 06:39
Anonymous lady (not verified)

When a woman is aroused her vaginal canal will open up and get bigger, it is completely normal, vaginal exercises will not help that.

All is not lost

Tue, 07/04/2017 - 07:50
MCuk (not verified)

My partner and i discovered early on in our relationship that we werent a good fit, she had previously had some partners that were on the larger, thicker side, mine is average length but on the thinner side of things.

We have discussed options and now focus on other forms of stumulation and ivnite other men, with larger penis into our sex life to fill the void so to speak.

It would be good to have the

Tue, 07/18/2017 - 09:13
jenny345678 (not verified)

It would be good to have the cheats for gta 5 online.

Vagina vs penis size

Sat, 11/11/2017 - 11:55
Nathan Wright (not verified)

    You will only need to concern yourself with size if..."YOU" are concerned with your size. Quality sex is about the mental connection first. If you establish a comfortable stare of mind with each other, then foreplay, which by the way starts long before you get in to the bedroom. Then you sexual encounter will not be dependent on size. Because your focus is on each orher, Not penis/vagina suze.

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