Betty Passed Me the Torch & I Took It
Betty and I have been business partners for over a decade. We're on our third site relaunch, our 415th YouTube video, and last weekend marked our 42nd Bodysex workshop. Looking back on everything we set in motion makes me dizzy. We kept up this super crazy pace working through holidays, traveling all over the world, and agreeing to every interview and speaking request that came our way. We didn't want to miss a single opportunity to educate.
When Grayson was born, I didn't slow down or take a break. I worked from my hospital bed....I propped him on a nursing pillow as I processed orders and posted articles....I strapped that boy to my chest and made every meeting and business dinner. It was exhausting but necessary. About a year ago I hit the wall.
Suddenly, I didn't care about social media or new blog posts or adding to our product lines. I kept up but I started to resent the work...except for the workshops. The circle just felt right. It invigorated me and fed my soul. Betty ran the groups and I assisted - I had no idea how much I was learning until this past group.
We had women from Israel, Mexico, Russia and both Coasts. It was our largest circle of the season and I was commuting for the first time from Suburbia. I'd packed and unpacked our household in three days and was running on adrenaline. My physical transition mirrored an emotional transition that I didn't know I was experiencing, thank you, Betty Dodson, for this beautiful journey.
When you have a large group, genital show and tell can take several hours. What was striking was Betty's genuine enthusiasm and love of all things vulva. She's been doing this work for 40 years but never tires or finds boredom in the process. Betty is in her element and she is the master. It's in these moments that I know I made the right decision leaving law for sex. You get to this place of true contentment where only truth and humanity matter.
Usually, during erotic recess, mommy gets to have some orgasm time without delay or distraction. I treasure this time but after only a few orgasms I looked around the room and realized that one of the women needed support. I crawled over and saw that she was crying. She'd never had an orgasm and listening to the other women come was cutting her deep. I took the barbell and asked if I could try different strokes in her vagina. I pulled it in and out then angled it up towards the ceiling of her vagina - she liked that. I watched and listened. She was coming up on an orgasm but couldn't get there. As she reached down to stimulate her asshole, I got it - she's kinky. All this dirty talk came flowing out of my mouth. The other women were listening. I fucked her hard, added some humiliation and she came big. It was beautiful. We were both smiling and I explained that there wasn't anything wrong with her other than she wasn't vanilla and vanilla sex was never going to get her off.
Another woman asked for help and I assumed the position between her legs holding on to the barbell. I watched and listened and understood that she needed a steady drummer and reminders to breathe. It didn't take long before she achieved orgasm. Another woman asked for help. Again, I got between her legs and tried different strokes with the barbell. I watched and listened and understood that she needed shorter, quicker strokes for a longer duration of time. At this point, the women on either sides of us were orgasming their faces off. One ejaculated all over the floor. I kept up my barbell action and, suddenly she came big and ejaculated all over my hands.
The women asked me how I knew what each woman needed - how their orgasms were so different - and I didn't have an answer. Somehow I just knew how to support them. I could feel Betty's gaze and turned to see her smiling at me. She announced, "I feel so good knowing that I chose the right partner". I took a moment to let that sink in.
Betty and I have always had chemistry, a united goal, and worked well together. Neither of us ever doubted the other but something shifted this past weekend, deepened and changed. In this circle, during erotic recess, Betty handed me the torch and I took it.
We've talked about this transition for years. Ultimately, you can't prepare for it or control it - it just happens organically when the time is right and you allow it. I feel so at peace about our partnership and the next transition of my life. If I could keep Betty alive forever, I would. I would keep running workshops and, once Grayson is in school next Fall, we'd start traveling the world again. Sadly, I know that no one can live for ever....even Betty Dodson.
In two weeks, we'll run our last workshop for the season and pick our Spring dates. We've decided to go season by season with subtle changes to make it easier for Betty to keep running the groups. Then this Summer we'll host another retreat at Menla to celebrate Betty's 90th birthday. What a full life she has lived....and keeps living. Yesterday, she had one of the best private sessions of her career.
No one knows what their future will hold. When I think about Betty and her legacy, I see myself sitting at my computer still doing private sessions and running circles into my 90's. We all benefit from her glorious example of the life you can lead when you love yourself and put pleasure first.