Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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I'm 19 years old and I don't enjoy sex. Ever since I lost my virginity at 16 i've had 3 partners and have not been able to have enjoyable sex with any of them. Every time I have been well lubricated, so I don't think that is the problem. I already went to my gynocologist twice on this issue and she pretty much did not have anything useful to tell me other than that all my sexual pleasure will come from my clitoris. Not that I completely disagree with that, but isn't penetration supposed to be somewhat enjoyable??

I recently discovered this web page and your writing - and I was really excited because I find the work you do so amazing. I agree with many of the things you say about sex and about relationships in general and it's good to have it put into words for once. Though I've always been pretty confident about my sexuality, following the things you and Carlin are doing strengthens me and makes me even more open about it.

So: Thank you!

Dear Betty,

I have been married for three years now and my husband and I are anxious to have children. We have wonderful sex, but we have a problem. In the 3 years that we have been together, my husband has only ejactulated twice. He has no problem ejactulating while masterbating, but he does not cum when we are having sex.

I am 71 years old, had a hysterectomy 30 years ago, been off estrogren for 10 years and not had intercourse in many years, and before that infrequently. The last time I attempted intercourse it was painful and stinging. Four months ago I began masturbating (no prior experience) the vaginal barbell at first was painful and stung to insert but soon became enjoyable. With the strawberry vibrator I never had any difficulty with stinging or burning upon insertion and I LOVE IT!

I redently purchased "Smartballs" but have found it stings and is quite painful upon trying to insert them.

Dear Betty,

I am 23 and enjoying experimenting with my great new (& first) boyfriend. I do reach orgasm by myself (clit) and as well when he is stimulating it (finger/dick), but I don't feel anything "good" inside my vagina while having sex.

Betty,

I need help finding a toy. I once bought a double dildo because I wanted something that would give good penetration but that I could "fold up," as it were, to simultaneously stimulate my clit and labia. Well, the thing I got was huge. I could get it in me but it was so big it hurt more than it pleased, and it wasn't very flexible for what I wanted, so I've only used it one or 2 times. I decided that my clit took precedence over good penetration, so I have stuck with my fingers and lots of lube to get the great O's, but I still pine for something more! I don't usually use vibrators because their too intense, so those ones with the extra clit thingy on them just won't do.

Dear Betty,

I am a bisexual woman in a long term relationship with another woman. Recently, we had a threesome with a male friend, which for both of us was the first time having sex with a male. My lady and I have used sex toys, and achieved penetration in other ways, so I guess it surprised me a little when I bled after having intercourse with the male. When I hear talk of the hymen, it's described as being along the lower edge of the vaginal opening, but I think my bleeding is coming from the upper area. We have done this twice now, and while I bled less the second time, I still did. It continues lightly for a day or so afterwards. The male does have a penis on the larger side, which I am sure is a factor. I guess I am wondering - is there any bleeding resulting from sex that I SHOULD be worried about?

i'm scared of tampons! is this going to slow me down from starting my sexual life?

As far as I know, I have never had a G-spot orgasm nor have I ever ejaculated. However, I do know many of my orgasms have been deep, powerful and satisfying. I've also enjoyed those little ten minute maintenance orgasms that release tension. There is no such thing as having a bad orgasm- they all put a smile on my face. Maybe the vaginal orgasms that I managed to squeak out in my twenties would classify as G's. Some were quite accidental and non-repeatable. Others required a thirty minute erection owned by a handsome young man who promised he'd only have sex with me. Oh yes, I had to get on top and Ride ‘em Cowgirl, which wasn't easy in the fifties and early sixties. They called us "ball busters" back then.