Arrived at my friends' party this past Saturday night at twenty-three minutes past start time. I was wearing black jeans, grey turtleneck shirt, a black leather suit jacket, and an Under Armor heat gear form-fitting undershirt. I'd brought a bottle of champaign, strode through the ajar front door, and said hello to an almost empty room. The party hadn't started.
My friends appeared in sophisticated dress. I asked, "Can I help you with anything? They set me to work mincing garlic and putting it together with a half stick of butter. Following that, slicing and toasting bread. People started to arrive. Gradually more people appeared and before I knew it, I was feeling a slight resentment. Just then, a woman came up by my side and offered some help. Then another with curly black hair came up behind me and placed her hands around my stomach. She asked me if I wanted a drink, I said yes, and she returned with champaign. Her hands returned to the front of my stomach. "I love how you feel here. Are you done soon?"