With tears tumbling, we comforted our kitty gently, thanking her for the love she brought us as life slipped away from her frail, tired body. My girlfriend and I have been dealing with the loss of Sydney for a week now.
Trauma has the potential to destroy intimate connections and we have both been acutely aware of this. To ease our minds, and help diminish the effects of stress, we hiked a lot. On one particular hike though, we argued over a misunderstanding we had. We quickly resolved the conflict, but it made me think about the most common myths and misperceptions that we have regarding relationships.
While it's true that the largest portion of sex life coaching that Betty and I do for our clients surrounds the exciting subject materials, we also are there to coach clients through relationship issues as they pertain to their shared sex life.
This is a blog on my most recent session with a couples client we'll call, "Judy and Keith." They gave me permission to discuss these specific sections of their coaching.
Hi Dr. Betty,
I wrote to you yesterday regarding my fear of my boyfriend's sexual behavior. I mentioned that we have anal pretty often, sex pretty often. I believe you concluded that based on his behavior he could be bi. I grew up in a household that didn't talk much about sex, this is my first time living with a man and I have no idea whats normal. He's into "double penetration" porn and fantasizes about having another man join us. We are going on our 2nd year living together, but this has come up since last year.
As I indicated in my previous blog post, a past married couple, who were sex life coaching clients of mine last winter, told me all about how their relationship of just over twenty years was revitalized (and getting better) due in large part to the talk-teach coaching sessions the wife, Nancy (name changed), had with me.
I was sitting one day going over past client contact info, then contacting some of them, seeing how they were doing. I like to keep in touch here and there to see how my sex life coaching helps or sustains their happiness over time. I texted her after being out of contact since January or February and she wrote back with:
"We're doing great!"
I replied: "Do tell!"
Nancy: "He's totally in love with me."
So I'm in a new monogamous relationship, and we haven't had sex yet.
We've talked a lot about it (he's younger than me) and I've told him about this site, and tips and advice I get from here (typical teenage boy, getting all excited about "sexvice"!).
We got on to talking about masturbation, and I'm pretty open about it, so I simply told him that I do, and how often I do. Then he asked me, 'don't you find it a bit weird to be masterbating so much, if u have a boyfriend?'
I said no, of course. I know betty and carlin are all for masturbation (woop!) but it got me thinking. I'm sure they've mentioned the benefits of masturbating as well as having partner sex. (I've forgotten where I am going with this now!)