no orgasm

Is It True Some Women Just Can't Orgasm?

Wed, 07/19/2017 - 07:47
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am 22 years old and I'm not sure I've ever had an orgasm.

I'm originally from Eastern Europe, and had a religious upbringing. I remember being a preteen and asking my mother what sex was like, and she replied "not fun". I always felt guilty about having sexual thoughts, and didn't even allow myself to masturbate until I was 17. As of now I'm in a good relationship with a guy who makes me feel comfortable and I'm finally starting to enjoy sex. I've even found that anal play is a lot of fun!

But I don't come when I'm with my boyfriend, and it never happens when I'm alone either. I try to masturbate with a vibrator, feel like I'm getting into it, and then the feeling suddenly goes away.

Pleasure is Learned

Thu, 12/01/2016 - 14:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson
Original Drawing Betty Dodson

I can’t write a number large enough to cover the amount of emails I get from young, middle-aged, and older woman asking me how to have an orgasm. The constant refrain is that they have tried EVERYTHING and they still can’t come!

Some get a good feeling when they lie on their stomachs and clench their legs together or hump pillows or rolled up blankets until they get some mild feelings but when they roll over and try with their fingers or a vibrator, nothing much happens. Or if it does, those little mild sensations simply could not be an orgasm. Even if she feels her vagina contract or pulsates, she denies anything like an orgasm could have taken place.

All I End Up Doing is Making Her Clitoris Sensitive with No Orgasm

Wed, 07/20/2016 - 07:04
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hey Betty,

My girlfriend and I met the first week of college and have been going out for about half a year now. She is amazing and very giving in bed. She has had her share of sexual partners in the past with a couple of boys and one girl and she tells me that they had never been able to help her reach an orgasm. Only she herself on her own has reached an orgasm. I am also the first person she has had sex with and of course I want to help her feel a great deal of pleasure and help her reach an orgasm.

For Everyone Struggling in Search of an Orgasm

Sat, 06/18/2016 - 08:01
Submitted by Betty Dodson
Betty Dodson Original Drawing

I just read several question from women in their teens to fifty and beyond searching for their first orgasm. This sexual suffering seems never ending and it breaks my heart. Something totally natural has been perverted by religions in male dominated cultures. This is when wives and mothers are turned into a sexual police force controlling their daughters to be virgins until they're married. Patriarchy could never survive without a matriarchy to keep it in place.

Can I Regain Sexual Function After Going Off Antidepressants?

Mon, 07/01/2013 - 16:06
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I was referred by my doctor, who has another patient who worked with you. I was reading your website and at one point you said that people who have been on antidepressants for 10 years are permanently damaged. Can you tell me what you are basing that on? How many of the people you have worked with who were on long-term SSRIs had permanent damage? Did any of them recover eventually?

What Could Cause an Inability to Orgasm/Ejaculate in Someone My Age?

Wed, 06/19/2013 - 07:22
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I'm a healthy, straight 18-year-old boy who became (sporadically) sexually active this year. I had my cherry popped by a girl well-versed in the art of orgasm, but despite her best efforts I never felt much more than a light tickling sensation in my penis during our time together. The same has been true with one other partner--despite relaxing to the greatest possible extent, I haven't felt anything close to an orgasmic sensation or ejaculated.

How Can I Orgasm During Masturbation & Sex?

Tue, 06/23/2009 - 16:21
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am having difficulty both with orgasm during masturbation and with a partner. I think I have experienced tension orgasm and no touch orgasm before (they aren't reliable though: my longest was after exercise and wasn't in a place I could relax into it). So I know I'm not having them with sex and masturbation.

Can't Orgasm Because I Can't Ejaculate

Mon, 06/15/2009 - 13:11
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I love your website, I think it's great, and I've read your 'first time orgasm' but I still can't manage to come. I have what I think is and orgasm (I can only get this through clitoral stimulation, even though when I was reading your 'first time orgasm' I was penetrating too) but I don't seem to ejaculate. I have been masturbating for about 2 and a half years now, and I've had sex before, but I didn't come during that either. Is there something I can do to encourage ejaculation, or am I just simply unable to do it?

Can't Have a Second Orgasm When Masturbating

Mon, 06/15/2009 - 13:05
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I'm 38, married but my husband travels a lot and our sex life is fair but infrequent. I have young kids at home but enjoy some self-loving a few times a week. It helps take the edge off in so many ways. I've read your book and follow your tips - they help a lot. But often, after I've had my first and small orgasm using the magic wand, I back off a little, then get back into it. Then I reach a point where I get completely frustrated. I try to temper it but it's difficult, and seems to be preventing me from having a second.

Feel Nothing During Sex & Masturbation

Tue, 11/25/2008 - 17:11
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I am a 27 year old healthy female and have a major problem. I feel very little pleasure when masturbating or having sex. I have never had an orgasm before and I have never been in a relationship. I've only had sex 5 times but feel nothing. It's like the inside of my vagina is numb.