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Menopause & Hormone Replacement: One Sexologist’s Personal Experience

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 22:20
Submitted by Betty Dodson

To my knowledge, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for a woman to remain vaginally active long past menopause without some kind of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). It's unfortunate, but each of us must find our own path through trial and error. First off, menopause varies greatly. What many don't know is that more than half of all women in the USA have little to no uncomfortable symptoms. After all, it's a natural transition we all experience. Others suffer with hot flashes, night sweats, sleeplessness, memory loss, etc., symptoms that will eventually pass. However, medical professionals along with our overzealous pharmaceutical companies have turned menopause into a deficiency that needs to be treated.

Sexual Awakening at 40

Mon, 07/06/2009 - 13:58
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty & Carlin:

I am in my mid 40s, and during the past 6 months I have had a huge sexual awakening and catharsis which I attribute to hormonal fluctuations (perimenopause maybe?) and hence, a new interest in all things sexual; i've always had mental issues with sex due to an early childhood abuse situation, and a rape when I was in my teens. But now, I feel as though I have finally broken through all that, and want to make up for lost time.

I have turned into such a horndog these past months it's driving me crazy!!! (But I love it ;-)

How Do I Survive as Sexual Woman After Breast Cancer?

Mon, 06/29/2009 - 16:38
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Single, age 68 (very young), not in a relationship, but interested, hysterectomy at age 44, on estrogen replacement for over 20 years till last year, testosterone cream (a little) for 2-3 years till last year, surprise invasive breast cancer last year, lumpectomy Nov., as of April on Arimidex aromatase inhibitor, supposedly for next 5 yrs., I am trying to work the mind over matter, around the deprivation of all my "fountain of youth" hormones and am starting to despair over lack of physical both skin/touch and vaginal feeling and capability to respond to fantasy and masturbation (I try to keep up the good work and not let go of hope).

Orgasms Back Stronger Than Ever, Thanks Betty!

Mon, 03/16/2009 - 13:31
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Thanks Betty for inspiring so many and reigniting the sexual urges that all to often get buried deep under all the business in our lives. Our sex life was growing stale until my husband read some of your information. We sat down and talked.

I used to be very sexual. I was frankly in love with my orgasm and so you can probably guess where I spent most of my free time. Before we wed, I also enjoyed masturbating with a number of girlfriends, quite often in fact, who shared my interest. It's much easier now to connect up friends with similar interests than it was then. Even with this going on, my husband and I had intercourse and oral sex almost daily.

After we married, I ocassionaly indulged with my girlfriends behind his back but I didn't feel right about it so I got busy with work and my girlfriends and I eventually drifted apart. Sex with my husband also went down to twice a week so did masturbation. Then I lost my job due to the economy. Fortunately, he earns plenty now so we're OK but depressed with all the free time to dwell on things.

We talked after reading your material and he encouraged me to take advantage of this time to rediscover myself and explore my needs. A real "economic stimulous" we joked. I got back in touch with my girlfriends and even made a few more friends and started getting back into what I used to enjoy so much. I feel so much freer now with his consent and interest. My orgasms are back even stronger than ever.

We made it fun for us both as he loves me to call him at lunch every day while I'm indulging with a girlfriend or even just plain masturbating on my own. Sometimes it makes him so excited he has had to cum also, over the phone in his office. On those days, the first thing he does after coming home is make love to me. We do it almost every day again and love it. Perhaps the free time forced on people from this economic slump can be used in positive ways to get us all re-focused on our sexual needs which had become so buried.

Wife Has No Sex Drive After Menopause

Wed, 03/11/2009 - 14:50
Submitted by Betty Dodson

My wife and I have not had sex for over six months. I am 65 and she is 58. She is going through (or has gone through) menopause. It was tough for her. Terrible hot flahses. She still has occasional hot flashes. About three years ago she had her ovaries removed. They were not cancerous, just a "problem" according to her OB-GYN. Her vagina has dried up and it is very painful for her to have sex. I have tried K-Y Jelly, but that has not helped. We used to make love about once a week.

I Urinated During Clitoral Orgasm *blushes*

Tue, 02/24/2009 - 21:59
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I have been using an Hitachi Magic Wand for a number of months now with no problem reaching an orgasm within the first few minutes without anything out of the ordinary happening. However, the past two times, during orgasm (clitoral) for what I thought was ejaculation turned out to be urine.

Menopause Killed My Libido

Sun, 12/07/2008 - 17:17
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I entered menopause at age 41 and am now 49. I completely lost my libido and in spite of trying HRT (testosterone) treatments, etc. it hasn't returned. My brain tells me I should want to have sex and I do want to have sex with my husband (who has also lost his sex drive, age 56). We now have a sexless marriage and can't seem to get it jump started. It takes a long time for me to have an orgasm now, if I do it's usually a blip and it's gone. I've never had any sexual problems prior to menopause. Help! We are drowning in apathy and don't know what to do!!! I feel hopeless.

Wife Has Pain During Intercourse

Wed, 12/03/2008 - 13:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

i like sex. my wife desire is low and when she has sex it is painful and she would rather have nothing inserted. main position is like missionary but her legs closed and straight while my legs are straight but outside hers so penetration is less and not as deep. she says part of non-desire comes from japan where they mainly eat vegetables, japan diet where desire is not as much as in america. what can increase her desire and heal pain (whether physical or emotional or both).

thanks,

JC

Dear JC,

Can't Orgasm Since Menopause

Tue, 01/01/2008 - 05:00
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am in the late stages of menopause and have been having trouble reaching orgasm. My history has been that I have only been able to have an orgasm via oral sex or with a vibrator. Lately, it is only with a vibrator and even then it is about 50% of the time. I recently began hormone replacement therapy to regulate my hormones; testosterone was particularly low. When I am having sex, I do become very excited and during intercourse my clit becomes "erect", but that seems to be the end of it - touching it or having oral sex does not increase the level of excitement I feel in my clitoris. And finding my G-spot has always been a mystery. I love intercourse but do not feel any "build up" other than a rush just before my partner comes. I'm beginning to feel depressed about not being able to have an orgasm during partnersex and my boyfriend has been very understanding but it must bother him on some level. Any advice?