Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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“Why did you break up with her?” I asked my friend over a beer. “I found out she was cheating on me,” he said in total disgust.

It’s a common story. Ashton’s affair and subsequent divorce has been all over the tabloids lately. But what is cheating anyway? And why do we care?

For most people, cheating has a standard narrative form: there is sex going on outside of the boundaries and agreements of a “relationship”, this kind of sex is a very bad thing, the people who do it are very bad people who lack integrity self control and they must be broken-up with and/or divorced when the cheating is discovered.

Yourtango.com covered a story on the new survey of divorced or divorcing couples. It reveals that the new number one reason for divorce is falling out of love. It places infidelity at number two on the list, which had been number one for the past eight years. According to the story, more relationships are weathering the first storm of infidelity out, in fact.

The Tribeca Film festival is on demand.  Betty and I have been watching every film.  Keira Knightley is amazing in "Last Night".  She plays a newly married woman whose marriage is facing the ultimate test.  Infidelity.  Her old flame - the one that got away - shows up in town the night her husband is on a business trip with a sexy co-worker played by Eva Mendes. 

Ultimately, they both cheat on each other.  She spends a romantic evening with her ex.  They don't have sex but they fall asleep in each others arms - you know that she's still in love with him.  The husband f*cks his co-worker and cuts his trip short to go back home because of his guilt.

Below is another email correspondence between me and my sex life coaching client, Joyce, whose continuous sexual growth I've blogged on recently, wrote this to me on the reality of her married life with children and the impact that had on her sex life. Again, all clients I blog on have their names changed and give me express permission to do so. It doesn't get more honest and real-life than her account and I think many married women in her bracket of life, and their partners, will resonate with it.

My latest client wrote me an email the other day. It struck me, so I asked her permission to include excerpts in a blog post. She agreed, as long as we changed the names of her and her husband. Read on:

This is so obvious but it's good to have the research.  Women cheat but they have more discretion and they don't need to assuage their guilt with a confession.  Who knew that Farrah Fawcett carried on an affair for 11 years?

Recent studies show that women are cheating as frequently as men - but we are a lot more likely to lie about it, and a lot less likely to get caught.  Simply put, it seems that women are better at having affairs than men.

The news that Farrah Fawcett had a secret affair for 11 years without telling a soul is a classic example of the way a woman cheats: discreetly, in secret, and while carrying on with the rest of her life as normal.

It has been met with hot denials by Ryan O'Neal, but - and I'm sorry to break it to you this way, Ryan - you'd be the last to know.

Dodson and Ross tackle the slut stigma and answer all your questions on threesomes, cheating, vibrator addiction, porn, and eating cum.