Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

• Login
• Join

Search this site:

I am 27 years old, never had an orgasm. I'm married 5 years with 2 kids.

Just recently, frustrated with myself and with what I am missing, made it my number 1 priority over the next 5 weeks to work on learning how to have an orgasm through masturbation. I read your articles, plus a few books, and began working with the Magic Wand. Here's what happened. The first time- I felt nothing for about 10 minutes, but I persisted when I normaly would have stopped, and after a while I began feeling pressure and some sensual feelings. I tried rocking my hips and squeezing my thighs, all the while pressing down on my clitoris hard with the wand on Low. I felt extremely strong pressure like I needed to pee- and then a liquid came out all over the bed, which I guess was urine.

Hello Dr. Betty!

Before I inquire, I'd like to thank you for the years of sexual liberation and awareness you've provided for women across the globe. My question is in regard to sex toys. I have been trying to find a toy that doesn't look like it belongs in Toys R Us. I was wondering what brands are the best? I found Lelo and Big Teaze to be appealing as they do not look like the cotton candy porno types. Do you have any suggestions? I'm trying to build my chest of goodies!

Dear L,

Dr. Dodson - I am sure you have heard this thousands of times, but I am compelled to share a BIG "Thank you". Dilligently studying your work has dramatically overhauled the sex life of my 16 year marriage. What a transforming rediscovery we are experiencing.

To the question........ I have been employing your suggested techniques while using the Magic Wand alone or with my husband. Ultimately, I get the most pleasure when adding a lot of pressure next to or even directly on my clit, typically under a cloth. This technique consistently allows me to approach the edge 20-30 times before falling off the cliff, so it is awesome for me. I can be a bit physically numbed afterwards, and sometimes feel a bit crampy/sensitive in my genital area for a day or so. I can't say I find it all that bothersome, though. Am I doing any damage? 

Dear Betty,

I'm 36 and would really like to sort out my ability to orgasm. I've just come out of an abusive relationship, going through a horrible divorce, my children have been diagnosed with a terrible illness, and it is only me who is supporting them, asked what about 'you' in all of this,.. I'd really like to get some release! And I'd like to get over a lifetime of (maybe) trust issues, but the recent ones especially (once in a lifetiem love turned very scary) and generally heal myself. I need and want to be strong and healed over these years to come and able to reach out to the joys in life, if I am to be able to sail everyone through the years and keep bringing the sunshine in. I'm seeing a sex counsellor, she recommended as powerful vibrator as possible and your name came up but I'm no more the clearer. I'm bi, but have no plan of attempting a relationship for a very long time, but I would like to take this time of privacy to heal myself, but also to enjoy my own pleasures with myself and get to know myself better. Please could you advise.

Hi Betty,

I'm reading "Orgasms for Two" and enjoying it very much. I just ordered the Liberte' from Eric so I can use it during partnersex. I'm sharing here, not asking a question. I've gone through several Magic Wands in the past 25 years. I plug it into a rheostat that has a slider on a long cord so I can have the wand in one hand and the rheostat in the other. It easily adjusts both the high and the low vibrations to anything my clit wants. No towel as a buffer to muffle is needed.

Much love and admiration to you,

O

Dear O,

In Orgasms for Two, I break down how to use a vibrator during partner sex. The positions that work best for different couples will depend on their body type, age, and flexibility. The following are some positions I have enjoyed.