first time orgasm

27 and Never Had an Orgasm

Betty Dodson's picture
Wed, 06/10/2009 - 09:58
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I am 27 years old, never had an orgasm. I'm married 5 years with 2 kids.

Just recently, frustrated with myself and with what I am missing, made it my number 1 priority over the next 5 weeks to work on learning how to have an orgasm through masturbation. I read your articles, plus a few books, and began working with the Magic Wand. Here's what happened. The first time- I felt nothing for about 10 minutes, but I persisted when I normaly would have stopped, and after a while I began feeling pressure and some sensual feelings. I tried rocking my hips and squeezing my thighs, all the while pressing down on my clitoris hard with the wand on Low. I felt extremely strong pressure like I needed to pee- and then a liquid came out all over the bed, which I guess was urine.

Sex Is Enjoyable But No Orgasm

Betty Dodson's picture
Wed, 04/29/2009 - 16:40
Submitted by Betty Dodson


I sure hope you can help! I am 20 years old and have never been able to orgasm, or even feel like I have come close! I have tried to take advice from friends (since that always works great), but still with no result. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have been having sex for 3. He is very understanding and tells me to just relax, and masturbate, and we try all kinds of different things. He is determined to make me cum. But when I masturbate I get bored and tired, and in sex if we keep at it for too long it just becomes too uncomfortable for me! I still enjoy sex even if I don't orgasm, and my BF would stimulate me all night if he had too, but I start to feel bad. Any suggestions? Thanks!

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Eric believes that for the majority of people, appreciation for our partners through shared affectionate touch and great sex is one of the best sustainable resources there is to continuously renew love, connection, and attraction between partners, spouses, and the relationship to one's sexual self. It's what makes the hard times not nearly as divisive as they could be. It makes partners into lovers, not distant roommates. It creates real confidence, not imagined, and makes us feel alive and vital.

Can't Orgasm With A Partner

Betty Dodson's picture
Mon, 10/13/2008 - 09:30
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi, Dr. Betty.

Here's my dilemma. I'm 38 years old and I can orgasm by myself, but not with a partner. I've been able to achieve orgasm for over 25 years, but only through a weird, indirect, cross-my-legs-and-hold-it-tight-until-I-come masturbation method. For years I've tried using vibrators, to no avail. My last boyfriend was willing to perform oral sex, but after awhile my clit became so sensitive that I didn't enjoy it anymore, and I was nowhere near orgasm.

Desperately Seeking An Orgasm

Betty Dodson's picture
Sun, 09/28/2008 - 11:10
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I am 27 and getting a bit desperate here. I have never had an orgasm ever, not while having sex with a partner, not while masturbating, not ever. It is getting somewhat frustrating, especially since, as I get older, the men whom I sleep with seem more concerned/disappointed about it.

I think I enjoy sex--it feels good, it feels like it is building to a point, and then it suddenly feels like I do not want to be touched ANYMORE at all, like anything further feels like it'd be too much.