Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Hi,

I love your site and it has helped me take control of my orgasm and know exactly what to do, and here is the problem. My boyfriend seems to prefer quickies more than foreplay, as soon as he gets erect he wants to use it. He is 48 and I am 22 and he's had some problems with erections and I think he is worried that as soon as he's ready he has to use it. This upsets me because he doesn't try to get me aroused which means it will take me longer to orgasm and so I end up not having one. How to I get him to stop stressing and relax and spend time on me. It really is frustrating.

Dear N,

Intercourse is going better, I think I have to be more sensitive to what part of my cycle I'm in. I'm trading in my water based lube for edible oil and will let you know if it's better.

Hi Betty,

My husband and I have been together since we were teenagers. As a result he is the only partner i have ever had. We are now on our 13th year of being together. We began having sex early in our relationship and we have learned together about what we like and don't like. I have a question though that I have always wondered about.

In keeping with Virgin's If-I-Had-a-Penis theme

For every smart man who has ever asked, “What do women want?” the sexual desires of each wish list will differ from woman to woman and will depend upon her age. When I was a romance junkie in my early twenties, I went along with whatever kind of sex each boyfriend did as long as he was cute, promised to only have sex with me and said he loved me.

When I got married I was more concerned with financial security and a solid relationship than sex. After I got divorced and began logging in sexual experiences with different men, I was able to name several things I enjoyed about sex. By the time I reached forty I was a sexually sophisticated woman who looked for specific qualities to indicate whether or not a man would be a good lover.

Hi Betty,

My boyfriend is a very sexual person, however he has ADHD and is on medication. When we try to have sex 70% of the time he can't get it up. However, even with a soft penis he can get off. I absolutely love having sex and this issue is beginning to drive a wedge between us. He thinks it is ok to have a soft penis and for me it is a turn off since I can't stimulate him enough to get hard. I am finding myself to be less satisfied with him in bed and the idea of dealing with his soft penis almost makes me gag.

Please help me, any advice is appreciated. Is there any way to look past the soft dick?

Thank you.

Dear J,

Hi Betty,

Why is it so very difficult to get my partner's dick back hard after he has his 1st orgasm? I have tried many things, but nothing seems to work so I just give up and say better luck next time . . .

Dear L,

It's best to accept him just the way he is instead of getting more frustrated by trying to change him. He may have a physical problem with blood flow, lack of interest in more sex or it's just his normal refractory period. If you brought a hot chick into the bedroom after he came, chances are he'd get another hard on. But maybe not. Why don't you just continue having sex with yourself if you're still turned. Happily using a dildo and a vibrator might even get him interested again.

Dr. Betty

His hand brushed my breast and I almost came. We had been building to this for two month and now we were alone in the motel room. We had talked extensively about this moment. He has arthritis and a number of other illnesses, which entails many medications that can cause problems with keeping an erection. As we began to undress, I felt his body below my fingers. It had been more than two years. I reached out and pulled him close, quickly discovering kissing his neck was a turn on.

Dear Doctor Betty,

My boyfriend takes a VERY long time to orgasm, and often goes soft before he can finish, resulting in him having no orgasm at all. He has admitted that taking a long time has always been a problem for him, and we can often end up having sex for an hour or two, often without him even managing to orgasm at the end. As you can imagine, during these lengthy sessions I get rather sore with the friction (even with lubrication) and it puts me off having sex with him, because I just know that we're going to be there for hours and I won't be able to sit down afterwards... we can never just have a quickie!

Here's a link to a forum question here on dodsonandross.com where a woman says she has a problem with her partner getting condoms on and losing his erection in the process. My advice is sound, hot, and sexually advanced if I do say so myself. The info centers around how stopping the hot action to mechanically put on a condom can make erections soften.

Even if you dont have this issue, the tips I give will improve your condom application moments and others as well....

Eric Amaranth's Blog

I love watermelon but didn't realize that it's the gift that keeps on giving ;)

Eating watermelon has a similar effect on the body to Viagra, according to researchers in the US. 

It's down to a chemical called citrulline which is found in the juicy fruit.  Citrulline is an organic compound which affects the body's blood vessels in the same way as the sex enhancement pills.

It helps relax the blood vessels which means blood gets around the body more easily.