Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross
Better Orgasms. Better World.
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Betty's Vaginal Barbell |
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My Romantic Love Wars: A Sexual Memoir - EBOOK EDITION |
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Betty Dodson's Bodysex Workshop DVD |
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Betty Dodson Liberating women one orgasm at a time |
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Carlin Ross Sex, Politics & More Sex |
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Eric Amaranth Sex life coaching, real life erotica, and wellness |
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Lawrence Lanoff Reality Hacker. Sex Educator. Geek. |
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Liandra Dahl Sex Documentarian |
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LilithLand Women, Sex, Culture & Relationships |
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cajun sausage Lovin' Dr. Betty since 1996! |
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Christina Cicchelli Professional Pervert |
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Danny Wylde Male. Libra. Whore |
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Dr. Lulu History & the Material Culture of Sex |
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Emily and Ju Queer love |
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Eric Francis Astrology & Adventure |
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Jenn Parenthood. With Cursing |
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Jessica Kramer Liberating Birth |
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jexhibitionism |
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Kasini Poet. Educator. Catalyst. Mother. |
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LesleyS Redefining my sexual self after babies. |
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Logan Levkoff sexologist, sex educator, intellisexual, author, mom |
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Marisa Black Finding room for all of me |
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Marylou Naccarato Learn how to raise your level of “Sexability” |
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Palesa Art + Sex + Media + Empowerment |
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Princess What would my mother say? |
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richard chilton "Live as if you were to die tomorrow, Lean as if you were to live forever.... |
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Solo Sexualist |
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VirginMonoblogger Thought all virgins were the same? Think again. |
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WildOrchid A selfsexual, toy loving, possibly bisexual total virgin |
“Why did you break up with her?” I asked my friend over a beer. “I found out she was cheating on me,” he said in total disgust.
It’s a common story. Ashton’s affair and subsequent divorce has been all over the tabloids lately. But what is cheating anyway? And why do we care?
For most people, cheating has a standard narrative form: there is sex going on outside of the boundaries and agreements of a “relationship”, this kind of sex is a very bad thing, the people who do it are very bad people who lack integrity self control and they must be broken-up with and/or divorced when the cheating is discovered.
Get ready, I know this is big! I am going to out myself so I can talk about issues that I deal with on a regular basis- because I've studied about them. I'm a shrink. Specifically a 29 year veteran of the marriage and sex therapy wars.
Its interesting to me, that when someone like Jesse James comes clean on a TV interview, the public doesn't seem to understand the gravity of the story he tells.
It's really the same thing with abuse.
None of the explanation is meant to be an excuse, per se, for the very bad, often tragic behavior.
I'm a 65 year old woman with "earthquake" orgasms but I'm very unhappy. I met this man more than 1½ years ago. It was wonderful, just wonderful and I'm still in love with him BUT he's married and has been married for years and years. At first, it was OK for me because he told me his wife has depression, she can't stand sex with him, and it's ok if he has sex with somebody else.
I AM THE SOMEBODY ELSE!
Lately I've been struggling with monogomy. Is it wrong to want a mistress? In an ideal world, I'd have my cake and eat it, too. I'd love to have a wife AND a mistress. Am I the only lesbian in the world that feels this way? Would it be cheatng, or can people ever *really* have open relationships?
"Cheating" isn't okay because lying isn't okay.
Having sexual relationships outside of marriage is fine. Go for it. But do it in the context of an honest marriage. If your marriage can't handle the honesty then you either need to live with the restrictions you agreed to live under or get out of it. Anything else is a betrayal. Negotiate for polyamory, negotiate for an open marriage, negotiate for "don't ask don't tell" but if you're not talking about it, then you're at the very least lying by omission.
I got a little angry when I heard Betty say that cheating is fine, and I have to voice my disagreement.
Dear Betty,
I am new to your site and learning to properly masturbate. I have been trying to masturbate more because I am married and just feel so promiscuous. I love my husband dearly but he just does not satisfy me in bed. I have a friend I have known for over 12 years and we have sex. Of course my husband doesn't know but it's the best sex I have ever had. I just feel so dirty and hate lying but can't control my urges. Do I need help?
Betty:
I have read and enjoyed your website for years and purchased many products over time. I appreciate your candor and straight forward advice, with which I agree most of the time. As a 57 year old male in a 35 year monogamous marriage, I think you missed something in your advice posted on line referenced above. WHAT ABOUT THE HUSBAND? I readily agree that from my perspective it is a selfish question, and one you have answered several times in the past. I think women should be advised of the pain from physical and emotional withdrawal her husband is going through, and given some advice on how she can ease that pain if she wants him to stick around to assist with her illnesses.
