Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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On the particular Sunday on which this conversation occurred, I'd tried a new hairstyle where I'd coiled my hair into not one, not two, but three little buns across the nape of my neck. I loved it, it looked like a band of rosettes, and I'd gotten a number of compliments on it at work. And thus I left work to pick my children up from their other mother.

The Oldest (currently 6 years old): Mom, why do you have THREE buns in your hair?

Me: It's a new hairstyle, I think it looks pretty cute, what do you think?

The Oldest: It's not very normal.

Me: Ok, but is it cute?

The Oldest: Yeah, it's cute. But it's not normal. Normal is one or two buns, not three.

Me: That doesn't matter to me, what matters is that I think it looks cute.

We Suggest: 

Viva la Vulva

“This is the First Time We’ve Outed Ourselves & We're All Pretty Nervous”

Why Can't It Just Be "Scouts of America"?

Body Image, Eating Disorders & Parenting Daughters

Dear Dr. Betty,

I recently bought and read your book: "Sex for One" and I loved it and I am practicing masturbation on a regular basis. I had written you before, I had a lot of sexual issues to the fact that I was raped when I was 6 years old and one of my other issues was an overly-invasive narcissistic mother. When I was a child, she caught me masturbating and made me feel terrible about it, she tried to "catch" me all of the time and made it impossible for me to achieve orgasm. I was having orgasms until the age of 19, until we had to share a bedroom in a small apartment due to money problems and she kept trying to "catch" me in the shower, while I slept in the living room, etc.

Last week, my kids and I were strolling the aisles of a Connecticut Wal-Mart looking for diapers and t-shirts. Instead I found something more surprising, and it was my six year old that brought it to my attention. As I schlepped my box of diapers to the cart, I heard Maverick cackling. “Mommy, bras for little girls? That is ridiculous!”  I dropped the box and went to see what he was referring to. There on the shelf, were several "padded" bras.

He was right. There were little girl bras. Ridiculous little girl bras. With monkeys on them. And candy. And they were padded. (Did you catch that? Padded. Bras. For. Little. Girls.) Oh, and they weren’t in the “Tweens” section, they were right next to the toddler stuff. I was incensed.

I could not wait to get my pole dance project under way. This is truly an understudied environment and I'm all about being the pioneer! I began a month long conversation with the studio manager at the New York City location about if and how the school would want to be involved in my project. It was during much phone tag with my contact at the school that I discovered they were having a Halloween party for their students. I decided this was a perfect opportunity for observation of the students at this school and a full on sub-cultural experience.  After I put out a few more unreturned phone calls in order to get on the guest list for the event I did what any intrepid investigator would do, I went ahead and crashed the party.

It's shaping up to be the Week of Misogyny.  First, we had Karl Lagerfeld blame "fat mummies siting on the couch eating crisps" for Brigitte Magazine's decision to ban models from their fashion magazine.  Then we had Ralph Lauren's nauseating photoshopped campaign of a model (yes a model) reduced to half her real size.  Think concentration camp body with big breasts and a full face.  RL apologized only to release a second photoshopped image of what I'm calling "Auschwitz chic".

And now we have Christian Louboutin attacking Barbie for having cankles.

Yes, this is a real ad that Ralph Lauren was using for their Fall campaign.  And, no, this isn't a real image of a real woman.  This is a digitally enhanced or should I say digitally emaciated picture of a woman that minus the hair and the outfit has the physique of an Auschwitz survivor or maybe a Serbian refugee. 

A big thank you to Boingboing.net for calling out Ralph Lauren for this sick, sexist ad.  For a minute, Ralph Lauren sent them this nasty we-may-sue-you legal letter but boingboing didn't cave.  Instead they posted the letter and eventually got an apology from RL.

Haven't we had our fill of skinny?  We get it.  Gay fashionistas don't like curves.  Even pubescent teen models aren't skinny enough for them.  I so respect the German magazine Brigitte for ditching models for real women in ALL THEIR NEW ISSUES.

A subject dear to my heart and clitoris. I have been involved in promoting the diversity of women's sex organs since I showed feminists a vulva slide show at the NOW conference in the early seventies. No woman should ever suffer from feeling there is something wrong with her vulva through lack of positive imagery. See you at the Vulvagraphics Show.

Even I was a bit shocked by these numbers.  Researchers who studied the link between sexual habits and alcohol
consumption among 3,000 women found 50% preferred sex under the
influence.  The reason: alcohol helped them lose their inhibitions.

This is what happens when you cut sex ed, cram abstinence until marriage down everyone's throats, perpetuate the slut stigma, and try to control human sexuality by shaming women.  We still have sex but we can't take responsibility for our decisions so we have a few drinks to absent ourselves.  Talk about a compromising situation.  You don't remember how much fun it was and you're less likely to be in the moment - less likely to communicate what you want and insist on protection.

Here's some other alarming facts:

This is unfuckingbelievable.  I'm so sick of the fashion industry disrespecting women.  We're the ones who buy your clothes!

A stylist and casting director have left a London Fashion Week show over a decision to use average-sized models, a fashion boss says.

Amanda May, managing director for Canadian designer Mark Fast, said there were "creative differences with regards to the casting of those girls".

Fast broke fashion convention by putting three size 12 to 14 models on the catwalk on Saturday.

"There was a team change and we're glad we stuck to our vision," said Ms May.

OMG!  The stampede is going to be worse than a Dolce & Gabanna sample sale.  And I have to admit that as a woman with large "ass"ets I'd love to suck a bit of fat out and pump it into my breasts.  Am I still a feminist?

Women are to be offered "natural breast enlargements" using unwanted fat from other parts of their bodies, it has been announced.  The technique will be made available "early next year", according to the Harley Medical Group.

Betty answered the question, I posted it, and it got over 2,000 reads in a matter of hours. We had to put it to bed once and for all.

The sexual musings on the web today were all about condoms and sperm.

It seems that Scottish men wear the biggest condoms according to supermarket purchasing data.

If you want healthy sperm, then go for the guy with the highest IQ.  Knew there was a reason I'm attracted to geeks.  I guess the ideal man would be a smart scotsman.

Contestants competing for the title of Miss Universe were required to participate in Condom Olympics. They had to inflate condoms till they burst or fill them with water for Aids awareness.  Thank you, Donald Trump.