Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Since it was Christmas recently, it seems as if a lot of talk about believing in God occurred in my life.

The BIG question was this: "Well, if you don't believe in God, or that the Bible is the Word of God, what keeps you from going out and raping, and stealing, and killing? If God doesn't exist, doesn't that mean that everything is permitted? You can't have morality with that as your basis." I have heard this question more than a few times! I didn't mind hearing it once again; in part, because the person who asked me that seemed sincere about it.

In replying, I turned the tables on the person and asked them almost the same question, but in a slightly different way.

When I was maybe 16, or 17 years of age, my father knew this single father by the name of Chet. He was a rough and tough weathered guy used to lots hard work. He had been injured years earlier and had an artificial arm, which, in spite of that had hardly slowed him down. He was indomitable, for lack of a better word! Anyway, Chet had a son a few years older than I who eventually became a highly accomplished ballet dancer with the Joffery Ballet company in Canada; he was also openly gay.

My parents would have been incredibly disappointed in me had they known that their only child had ever visited an adult bookstore. That's putting it mildly. They took me to church every week. I attended Vacation Bible School every summer. My mother taught Sunday School. My father was the Sunday School Superintendent.

I had the quintessential Protestant Christian childhood. I also knew that both my parents loved me, and cared about how I might turn out. I was supposed to grow up to be a good (Baptist) boy; and yet, what neither of my parents ever knew, was that their only son had a certain attraction for both girls, as well as other boys!

In all the talk about mixed-orientation marriages, I want to stop and remind readers that in such a relationship, there's always the other person to think about! My own wife, for example, has had to make some very difficult decisions since I came out to her.

For the sacrifices I have had to make she's made just as many!! It's very easy to get all caught up in your own sexual struggles, and over-look your partners.

October 5th has come and gone, but it was a significant date for me, as well as for my wife. October 5th was the date (now over two years ago) when I "came out" to her that I was a bisexual! Actually, you could say that October 5th was my second coming out, because she and I had been down that road already. It's a convoluted story.

Lately, and thanks to my wife, I have been reading May Sarton's wonderful book Journal of A Solitude. In it, she reveals herself in ways she had avoided before; namely, that she was very possibly bisexual. It is a fascinating look at one year of living (essentially) alone, in a house in a New Hampshire small town.

I used to call myself a 95% lesbian. Now I’m a queer femme who sometimes sleeps with men. This fact still bemuses me. I wasn’t a Gold Star lesbian — I’d slept with 2 men. But I hadn’t really enjoyed sex with them. And it didn’t really matter; I was married to a woman and would be spending my life with her. And though our marriage would sometimes flex enough to let a third person into our bed (indeed, that’s how I slept with the second guy) whether or not I could actively desire a man was irrelevant.

Evolution is the reason we have such a difficult time trying to put everything around us (including our sexuality) into neat and tidy little boxes.

I am not saying that evolution is the problem, just that since evolution is the ultimate Continuum, we humans will have to start seeing everything around us (including our sexuality) in the same way; and that is definitely a very good thing, indeed. The evolution of life on this planet began somewhere around 3 billion years ago, after the formation of the Solar System had begun a billion years earlier. From that humble beginning, here we are today, capable of contemplating it! Pretty astounding really.

Let me begin by saying here at the start, that I consider myself a "bisexual", and my wife is heterosexual, and, we have been married for over 26 years.

For the last 3 of the last 26, we have been at work on how to reconcile our sexual orientations (bi and straight), and still be a viable married couple. A tall order, given that the dominant heterosexual majority insists that such a relationship is impossible. However, we have come see that in a very different light!

So here's the big question: If two people can love one another, shouldn't that be the real defining feature of the relationship, instead of what's between our legs, or, in other words, what our individual gender happens to be? We think the answer to that is: Yes.

Liandra was flying in from Spain - from her honeymoon - to be apart of our bodysex documentary.  Over the course of several emails planning her trip, we'd decided to film a scene together.  What that scene would be became my masturbation fantasy image.  It had been a while since I'd been with another woman.   I felt a bit rusty. 

A friend recently told me that he considers me to be bisexual. I violently rejected his analysis.

“I am NOT bisexual!”

“But you get turned on by women.”

“Okay.”

“And watch girl-on-girl porn.”

“So?”

“So I consider you to be bisexual.”

The putz. The huggable, lovable, adorable, yet pretentious putz, thinking he has the authority to label my orientation based on logic.

I ask myself often: "Are you bisexual?". Is bisexuality like a new food? It sounds good, but you don't know if you like it until you try? Or it is like crack... It's one of those things that you know you'll probably like before you try it? I mean, I don't know of very many people who were like "Yeah, I snorted a few likes of coke. It wasn't my thing".

Lady Gaga turns me on. In the "Video Phone" video, she isn't very attractive. Like, I don't know who the f*ck their make up person was, but they f*cked her up, but from 2:32 to 4:02, I can't take my eyes off her (and the moaning at the end is amazing, too). She's incredibly sexy. I've loved this freaky bitch since she hit the scene.