Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Betty,

I have had sex before but I am always questioning the right and wrong things to do..I am always wondering should we continue kissing, should i give him oral..do we have sex now, should I nibble his ears? I am clueless...Is there anything that kind of guides how it should flow or am I thinking about it too much. I think so much that when I do have sex I never have an orgasm cause I am worried if it feels good for him. I had a 9lb baby and fear  I maybe too loose. Help!

Dear Nan,

I love it when my questioner answers her own question. YES! You are thinking way too much. Instead of being there for his pleasure only, you will be a better lover if you get more in touch with what you want and need to have an orgasm. Nothing is more exciting to a man than a woman who is having authentic orgasms. This means spending more time with yourself rather than being a full time partner pleaser. If that remains the situation you might consider charging him for sexual services rendered. The solution to your concern about having a loose vagina is to check out my info under Betty's Vaginal Barbell and start working out doing Kegel exercises. This will also enhance your own orgasms. Not coming? Then get both of my books Sex for One and Orgasms for Two. It's time to educate yourself about female sexuality. Either way, it's time for you to start having some happy orgasms.

Dr. Betty