Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

 0 items

• Login
• Join

Search this site:

A starting point for my definition of sexual freedom would begin with society's acceptance of masturbation as the foundation for all of human sexuality. Alongside an art career, my life's work has been advocating and writing about the importance of masturbation as well as teaching sexual skills to women through the regular practice of genital self-stimulation. However, as I look deeper, sexual freedom would actually begin with each woman giving birth. Did she choose pregnancy? What was her marital status? Was she orgasmic before she got pregnant? What was the quality of the relationship with her partner during the early years of baby's life?

We also need to factor in early nonverbal messages as mom; dad or caregiver bathes a baby's body and genitals. Then there's potty training. Next would be parental response to their toddler's natural exploration that leads to rubbing or rocking on a penis or clitoris to enjoy the good feelings. This innocent process is how we get our first messages about sex. A child's natural curiosity needs to be encouraged while also teaching social rules like enjoying their genitals in private. Later on, children will naturally make up sex games like "I'll show you mine if you show me yours," or my favorite, "playing doctor." Any punishment or prohibition of this sexual curiosity or self-pleasuring sets the stage for future mild to severe sexual dysfunction. In the forty years I've worked with pre-orgasmic women, their sexual beginnings are quite similar- they either have no memory of childhood masturbation or they harbor intense feelings of guilt and shame every time they touch themselves "down there."

When a child wants to know how babies are made, this is an opportunity to deliver the next sex positive message. Instead of the standard procreative image of Little Billy's penis going inside Little Mary's vagina, it would be more accurate to say that Billy has a penis and Mary has a clitoris and when they touch them in a special way, it feels good. When we name a girl's sex organ a vagina and never mention her clitoris, this becomes a form of psychological female genital mutilation. Then the procreative message about a penis inside a vagina can follow.

Sexual freedom begins at birth and needs to be continued with an adequate education about the form and function of our sex organs that goes well beyond procreation. Pre-teens need to see a variety of aesthetic images of penises and vulvas to know they are "normal." Seeing is believing. They can be taught to honor the wonderful feelings they can give themselves throughout childhood into adulthood without shame, fear or guilt. Every self-induced orgasm becomes an affirmation of self. Sexual freedom will develop a Nation of self-actualized people who are happy, creative and productive. In other words, Heaven is right here on Earth.

Enjoy!

Betty

We Suggest: 

Betty Dodson's Bodysex Workshop

Betty Dodson's Bodysex Workshop DVD

Claiming Our Kink is a Very Powerful Thing

Sex is for Fat People Too