Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Hi, Betty.
I linked to you from Amy Alkon's site, and I'm enjoying you immensely. My problem: My wife of 14 years now, has just had a procedure ("operation" sounds too dramatic) on her Cervix, and the doctor has instructed us to avoid sex for 6 weeks. I have no problem with this. My
problem is that we didn't have sex the week before the procedure, though she knew it was coming. And before that, we went about a month without sex because she hurt her knee.

Before that, some itchy thing that was bothering her (another month without) and before that, 2 months while we were waiting for the results of my Vasectomy. We've had sexual problems stretching back, LITERALLY to our wedding night. It had gotten to the point that, after 6 months of her not letting me touch her, I walked out in 2006. Counseling, tears, promises, and, of course, accusations (that I'm a lout, etc) later, I moved back in. 2007 showed some promise, but I see the same pattern starting right now.

Since I received my vasectomy, we've had sex twice, and both times she pushed me off before either of us orgasmed. If I complain, she insists that I'm being unfair. If I point out that she's been doing this to me for years, I get accused of "keeping score" and living in the past. Further, she disapproves of pornography and masturbation, insisting that she should "be enough for me." I tore my family apart last time I walked out, and I really want to not do that again. It seems, however, that I've been presented a choice (Abstinence, infidelity, or divorce) that a husband shouldn't have to make. How do I resolve this?

What's a devoted guy to do?

Fred

Dear Fred,

It appears to me that you are totally unfucked! No partnersex, no masturbation, no porn, no shit! After 14 years, I'd figure that what you see is what you got and it ain't gonna change. You said it, you're left with abstinence, infidelity, or divorce. If you don't want to tear your family apart, then it appears a little discreet infidelity is one answer. Or put your damn foot down and stop being so pussy whipped. It's time to demand your right to masturbate! That would mean establishing a room of your own with a computer, a TV, a nice big comfortable chair, a bottle of my Almond oil, a box of tissues and a lock on the door. It will get you through the next three years until you reach the 17th year of marriage. According to statistics that's when many couples finally get divorced. Phew! Ain't love grand?

Good luck,

Betty