Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Hi Betty, this is a both a comment and a compliment. I've been lurking on your site for some time ( both you are carlin are beautiful ladies!), and after seeing your documentary on channel 4 in the U.K., I was saddened but not surprised to read of the difficulties experienced getting some of this footage out to the public.  When I watched the footage, I was both relieved and slightly discomfited by it.

I am a trangendered female (wishing to be a male) and had gone through my life expecting that I should be able to orgasm via clitoral stimulation at least alone. But I had never been able to do this as I have always been at odds with my body and mind. Seeing women who were not going through transition experiencing sexual difficulties really opened my eyes. It made me realize that sex is not centered in the body (although touching the right bits damn well helps) its is in the mind.

Seeing these women learn to relax and discuss their inhibitions led me to the realization that despite my gender dysphoria, I could hope to experience intense and involved sex, both alone and with a partner. This was an amazing relief for me, I can't tell you how much, I was literally on the verge of suicide not knowing how I could hope to be that close to another human being, emtionally, if not physically.

I continued learning to try to appreciate what I have and found self-stimulation slowly becoming pleasant and relaxing, if not orgasmic. This was a huge improvment. Touching myself became less frightening, I learnt to view myself as if I were looking at another woman through the lense of my bisexuality. I realized that I might not feel beautiful, but it is ridiculous that I would apply that standard to myself, when I find women so curvaceous, beautful and appealing, and men so sexually arousing.

I hoped to meet someone who could understand my emotional inner life so I could share myself with them intellectually, at least, but it seemed like an impossible dream. Six months ago, feeling better than I ever have about myself, and waiting to enter into counselling about my gender dysphoria (which I am still undertaking) I met my opposite. She (currently technically a he, but as far as I am concerned the most beautiful girl on the face of the planet) is my opposite in physical gender, and in her desired gender (female) but in every way compliments me. She is a wonderful lover, and understands absolutely the emotional barriers involved in really letting go in our similar situation. Together we have shared many intensely passionate hours, and the fear of rejection emotionally is simply not there. Finally i have someone who understands.

Ironically, I have never felt less inclined to undergo surgeries, I have cum without being touched "below the belt" countless times, I forget who's hands are who's and who has what. I have finally found that emotional
release and closeness. Without you I could not have done this. You sparked off a huge emotional journey for me, and I am now happier than I have ever been.

Huge love to you.

xxxx

Dear VF,

Wow! That was quite an email. Thank you for spending the time to share so much with us in detail. Over the years I have had a lot of contact with Transsexuals. As a group, you are an invaluable source for understanding sex roles and help in overcoming the outdated notion that there are only two sexes. I always laugh at our letters here in the USA that represent the GayLesbianBiseuxalTransgendered community. Now we need to add Intersexuals and to be totally inclusive S/M and Fetishists. I can go on but you get the idea. When we run out of letters we can all just be SEXUAL. I advise against phalloplasty surgery. Let your clit grow big and strong with all that testosterone and look me up if you ever get to NYC.

Dr. Betty